Tears weld up as soon as I laid my head on my pillow that I have said good bye to 11 months ago.
It was big and fluffy, almost forgot what that felt like. I can stretch my hands out and not touch anyone beside me! After being in the blazing heat, it was nice to cuddle in my warm blanket. Hot water came on as soon as I turned on the faucet…
You get the point.
I started to appreciate all the small little things. A LOT.
But I actually didn’t cry because on how much I missed all those little comforts. I had flashbacks on the people I have met and encountered throughout this year. The way they lived simple lives. Most of the time how terrible their living conditions were. Yet how happy they were. Yet how satisfied they were.
Yet how much I have learned from them.
But walking through that on the Race has changed me. I’ve learned what surrender really means. Putting everything into the Father’s hands, closing His palms and walking away. Knowing He will take care of it. He’s got it. He’s in control.
Yes, I came home different than the girl that left 11 months ago. But I’m still Kristina. Still have food stains on my shirt. Still clumsy and unaware of my surroundings sometimes lol. Don’t worry, I’ve gotten feedback on that & it’s a great working progress! 😉
What really changed was my perspective on life. More fruits of the spirit watered, sprouted, budded, and gave fruit. But it took a community. Let me let you one thing, community is necessary and a NEED in our lives! That growth comes from being pushed in your faith. Yet accept you in your failures but in a loving way challenge you.
It was beautiful to have that companionship because they really got to know me. Even a slight frown, they already know whatsup. We all have something to bring to the table and learn from one another. God created all of us so different. Biggest part of ministry is loving one another well, because that is how the world will know whom we follow. In the Book of Daniel, he never did things alone. He needed his dudes to help him. They held each other accountable. I could probably keep ranting on, but that probably will be a different blog.
On the Race I’ve seen His creativity and diversity.
That He can’t be put in a box.
He doesn’t have a formula on how to worship Him.
Sin is the same everywhere and that the enemy isn’t creative. He uses the same formula over and over again through decades and that brokenness and darkness is the same throughout the nations. Nations might look different; the enemy will still walk like a prowling lion to catch any that are weak.
My heart broke in Mozambique when we picked up a dying young mother with TB & malaria to rush to the hospital.
My heart broke to see the living conditions in throughout the world.
My heart broke in Thailand when women knew that they’re doing is wrong, but still sold their bodies to support their families.
That could’ve easily been me.
My heart broke for my kindergarten students in Cambodia who were mostly found in a dumpster
…because their moms didn’t want them anymore.
My heart rejoiced when we prayed over a paralyzed lady in Malawi and she was able to walk again!
My heart rejoiced when I was able to save a 20-day old in the Philippines by CPR!
My heart rejoiced for women in the Red Light District listening intently to a satisfying love that only comes from above and craving it!
My heart rejoiced because I grew stronger and stronger in my faith in the only true God!
And I can go on and on…
But..
My Father rejoiced because He has my WHOLE HEART!
I’m still processing this year. It flew by so fast, almost feels like I haven’t even gone on it! But it might take me awhile to process it. Months, years, decades, lifetime…but currently I’m raw. I don’t know yet how to tell you exactly what I’m feeling. There are moments I feel sad & depressed. It’s a time to grieve. Grieve leaving a good, good season in my life.
Yes, it was hard.
Painful.
Uncomfortable.
Please understand The World Race was only a piece in my life, not the highlight. There’s a bigger picture I can’t see or understand, but He sees it all. Though the past 11 months my focus was a puzzle piece, the season has shifted and changed. So I will let go of what I am use to and walk bravely into the unknown because I know God is right beside me with each step.
Thank you for all who have been so supportive in prayer and love this past year! Hope to meet with y’all individual and give special thanks! MWAH!
