Raised with frontiers, with rules and regulations limited my dreams, my creativity & my passion. “No” was the answer to all that I wanted to do in my life.
“No” was not the answer I was going to live by.
No matter how much it hurt.
No matter how much I failed.
No matter how many tears I shed.
No matter that none of my loved ones understood me or supported me, I was going to fight my way to my dreams.
So I did.
It hurt, I failed, I was tired… but I didn’t give up
I wanted to go to school, wanted to travel the world, check off my long bucket list (that seems to get longer by day).
But I want to encourage anyone who seems stuck or afraid to stand BOLDLY for what your heart longs for.
It hurt deeply when a pastor from a church I grew up in didn’t want to pray for me in front of the entire church! He told me what I am doing is a joke and that his missions trips are life changing. He questioned why I would go for a year on a missions trip rather than a couple of months. There are many other things he has said that hurt me and left me bitter.
The bitterness made me believe that no one cares about me. When my team talks about how their church supports them, prays for them, I had to make sure my tears wouldn’t roll down my cheek. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week to make deadlines to go on this trip. I absolutely don’t want to disregard those who have supported me by any means. Thank you so much for every penny. But funds are not the point. The point is how everyone would tell me God will provide me with 16K and that I need to have more faith. Well guess what? I don’t think I have the same story as the majority of Racers who fundraise. My story is how I fight for my dreams. I come from a different culture, community and city: a culture where women are not sufficient without a man; a community that didn’t support me emotionally and spiritually and grew up in the most godless city in America. But none of that stopped me. My testimony is how I fight for the things I believe and dream of. Yes, it hurts that nobody stands by my side when I need it the most.
But I know my Father is there to hold me and give me strength.
I know I shouldn’t compare my life with anyone else’s. In your eyes, someone’s life might look easier and simpler. You feel that you are scrambling to earn every dime, sacrificing things in your life. Know that your journey is private and different. It doesn’t matter if you end up in the same destination as the other person. Your journey getting there is vital. Don’t disregard it. Fight for your dreams. Even if that includes sleepless nights, lonely days, body aches… your dreams and passions were put in you by God, for God. Commit to His ways, because it’s so worth the trouble. Know that even if nobody cares, He does and He always has.
