The other day I woke up in the same bed I've been waking up in for months, in the same town I've been waking up in for years and my first thought was, "How in the world did I get here?" Not "here" as in the actual town and bed I woke up in–I know how I got there–but more so, how did I let myself get this place of such doubt and unbelief in my faith? What went on (or, and probably more importantly, what did not go on) in my walk with the Lord that got me into this pit of constant questioning, fear, and insecurity- not only about the Race, but my entire life? How could I have let myself get to such an embarrassing level of lack of devotion and discipline in my faith?
All of these things: questions about doubt and fear and how, why, and when I got to that place were rolling through my head all day. And when I went to work after my internship, really simple, but incredibly beautiful things happened…all while I was making hundreds of (incredibly delicious) popsicles.
A little background: I work at a locally owned coffee shop called the Overall Company. I feel super lucky to work there because all four of the owners are believers—it’s no wonder you can feel the Lord’s presence and favor the second you walk through the door. However, I am not a barista. I'm a popsicle maker. I know, I know. It's possibly the coolest job ever. But the best part (besides making hundreds and hundreds of pops) are the people God has placed there. After days of arguing with myself about my faith and the place I was in, the Lord was sweetly and constantly showing himself to me while making popsicles in a tiny kitchen for 6 hours last night.
First, He showed me his sweetness and love through a co-worker of mine. She is a sweet ray of sunshine that consistently makes me feel like a rock star and encourages me by how much she loves Jesus–I feel more and more blessed with every second I get to spend with her. Super thankful.
Also, this same co-worker has a HUGE heart for Uganda—a country in which I just happen to have a lot of connections with different ministries and places to stay. Coincidence? No. Way. She’s planning on going in a few months and had no idea how to find somewhere safe to stay before she got there, but I know tons of people who would love to have her, which is exactly what she had been praying for! She was overjoyed. I’m pretty sure she squealed a few times with excitement. The Lord is good and He provides.
Ya’ll, it doesn’t end there…Also, last night a college student who leads a Bible study for middle school girls every Monday at the shop came in and randomly told the barista at the counter that she was praying about going on the World Race when she graduated. Come on, guys. What are the odds? Obviously I had to meet her when I heard this. I ran out of the kitchen to meet her and she immediately told me that she wanted to support me in any way she could– straight up the Lord's confirmation and provision exactly when I needed it.
So, probably within an hour, God let me share encouragement and connections to Uganda with my co-worker and then God brought in a customer that did the exact same thing for me about the Race. I cannot handle how sweet the Lord is!
The BEST part though, was when I was in the kitchen, alone, mixing things, freezing pops, and almost frantically bagging them before they melted, because this was the time that I finally took my struggles–all my thoughts, doubts, and fears–straight to God. I know, I know… I don’t know what took me so long either. During this time of honestly talking to God, He spoke honestly back-and I’m really thankful for that. God’s life, power, and peace does not come from me constantly trying to control and hold onto things in my own life, and it certainly cannot come if I’m not consistently seeking Jesus in His word and in prayer. How could it? Two simple, yet incredibly important, disciplines that I’ve let slide meant the difference between walking in Life or falling into the enemy’s death pit of fear and lies. Whoa. The Lord has been nothing but faithful to me and so willing to pour out grace when I least deserve it.
Long story short, after a night of God meeting me where I am with His love, provision, confirmation, direction, and encouragement, it is undeniable that He is good…and so are popsicles.
