God gave me a picture of a landscape a few months ago in Malawi. In this landscape, there was a dam blocking a river; everything in front of the dam was in grayscale, but a kaleidoscope could be found in the waters behind the dam. The dam looked like it was about to burst open, so there were times when water spurts through cracks into the shallow riverbed below.
This picture represented my life.
The colorful water behind the dam symbolized joy, and when the water spurt through the cracks, it represented the brief moments of joy I experienced depending on the events or company in my life at that particular time. The grayscale foreground symbolized my natural state – melancholy. There is still life in this land, but it is not life abundant. There is still joy, but it does not come from a constant, natural state. As much as I’d like for this dam to collapse and change the landscape of my life, I don’t know how to make that happen.
A few days ago during our first session at Month 4 Debrief, Coach Bob challenged us all to ask ourselves, “What does God have for me at Debrief?” As I did this, God gave me the words “release” and “freedom.”
The very next day, our new teams were announced.
My new teammates are Anna Lauren, Emily, Erin, Jess, and Rachel, and when praying for the team, Proverbs 31: 25-26 came to mind:
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the future.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
When I look at the women of my new team, I see so much beauty, grace, wisdom, and compassion. I have watched them live in joy and freedom for the past four months. I am excited to be able to do life with each of them for the next few months.
After a time of prayer for our new teams, we met together to share any words or verses that we received for each other. Of the three words that my teammates received for me, two of them were JOY – as in the team will teach me how to live in the joy of the Lord.
Thinking back on the picture of the dam and my desire to develop a constant state of joy in my life, the words I received, and the words my teammates received for me, I can’t help but be giddy for what God is going to do in me this upcoming month or so. I accept the challenge to grow and be held accountable by my team. I’m thankful they are willing to walk beside me through the uncomfortable and unknown moments that are to come.
I hope I can do the same for them.
