My mom told me she wanted a hard copy of every entry I’ve written on my World Race blog like two days before Christmas. She said it could be her Christmas present. I thought it was a weird request and a waste of resources since all posts are archived online, plus I don’t own a printer, so she didn’t get it.
But don’t start putting me on next year’s “Naughty List” just yet!
I’m working on a digital archive that she can read when offline, and I have been so blessed by this project. Her request requires me to go back and look at each entry. It has been a great encouragement to reread about where I was, what I was feeling, and recount how faithful God has been throughout this journey thus far.
I seriously cannot describe how encouraging it’s been.
Just know that these past two weeks have been some of the longest weeks of my life.
I can’t fall asleep because my mind is continually processing I don’t even know what.
If I do manage to sleep for a few hours, I wake up anxious and fearful.
Once I started, it took me two whole days to pack – with a patient friend’s reassurance.
I’ve either adjusted or completely emptied and repacked the pack every day since.
I’ve said the majority of my goodbye’s, but the hardest ones are still ahead of me:
I don’t know how to say goodbye to my parents.
And the thought of doing so turns my stomach into knots…
But rereading about God’s faithfulness to me on this journey thus far has been like drinking a cup of hot tea. I can literally feel His peace washing over me. And then to hear that He provided $6,000 for one of my teammates… Shoot. God is SO faithful!
It’s like when Joshua was told to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land after Moses’s death. Joshua was scared. I mean, Moses left some pretty big shoes to fill. Joshua’s mind was probably racing too. He was probably anxious and had thoughts of inadequacy. God told Joshua not to fear and to be strong like five times in as many sentences. But He didn’t just stop there. God reassured Joshua by saying, “as I was with Moses, so I will be with you” (Joshua 1:5).
God had Joshua stop and reflect on all of the ways God had protected and provided for the Israelites while under Moses’s leadership. God had Joshua recall his faithfulness. Then God said, “Be strong and courageous. You’ve got this because I’VE GOT YOU. I WILL BE WITH YOU just like I have always been.”
Even though my moments of anxiety and fear and doubt are increasing as I prepare for Launch, I have got so many examples of God’s faithfulness throughout my life. Even in my darkest times, I have seen His faithfulness, and I know without a doubt that He will continue to be faithful. His track record displays His steadfast character.
Even though I don’t know what to expect on the Race, I do know that I’ve got this.
I’ve got this because He’s got me.
