Training Camp…these two words held such mystery, legend, and anticipation leading up to October 12, 2013. This long awaited week had finally arrived with anxious feelings of excitement; and, if I’m being honest, fear of the unknown. Who are these people I’m about to spend the next year of my life with? What kind of challenges will we be faced with? What am I going to have to deal with inside of me? Am I really enough? For me, there was also the question of “I’m the oldest person on our squad. Will everyone still accept me?” Stories spread of only being allowed one shower in 7 days; crazy foods; “losing” bags; a long, sleepless night in a bus. If you have read other blogs of the “Training Camp” experience, you’ve likely noticed this is a common theme. I would like to share my experience with you in two parts. The first part will be an internal reflection, and I will share a little more about the daily life we experienced in the second part.
Coming out on the other side of Training Camp, I’ve still found myself having a hard time putting into words exactly what happened that week. There is no formula or explanation for how Jesus Christ can rock your innermost core. Now I’m pretty laid back and enjoy being outdoors, so the physical challenges we faced were not hard to deal with. They definitely added to the exhaustion, but you *WILL* come out alive and just fine…still dancing and smiling!. There were teachings of supernatural things of which I have not had much exposure, but of which the Lord has been making me more aware through scripture over the last couple of years. This didn’t even shake me like I anticipated it might. The true battle lay deep within my heart. Though, I believe this is where it lies with each one of us.
As the week moved slowly along, I started becoming uncomfortably aware of lies and false expectations that bound my heart and soul. I have so deeply desired freedom in Christ, yet I have been gripped with fear of what I’d have to do to achieve that. There has even been some strange sense of comfort in clinging to the bondage rather than “figuring out how to break free”. I have longed for a deeper intimacy with Christ that I had nearly determined was only a dream. The Lord has graciously been putting people in my life lately to shed some light and bring new perspective to my eyes. I no longer see this as only a dream, but as the reality in which Jesus wants us to live. I also no longer have any desire to cling to any bondage, but to live in the victory and boldness that is ours in Christ Jesus. My eyes have been opened to the fact that some of the very things I perceived as struggles were in facts areas of strength and worship. There are still things in my heart that Jesus is working through and resolving; but I beginning to see His presence and that is giving me strength and joy at a level I’ve never really experienced. I want to live in the reality of His power and goodness and love toward me and toward others. I want to seek nothing else except His kingdom and righteousness (Matt 6:33). I am diving into a new spiritual reality! #bringiton
“May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” -Colossians 1:11-14
