Upon our arrival at El Shaddai, we were informed that we would be assigned a buddy who we would assist with their studies every day from 3-5. We were given a few days to get to know the kids and see if any connections developed. As the days passed, and the Father worked with me on the issues I mentioned in my last blog, I played with, held hands with, hugged, and smiled at many of the children but there wasn’t any one in particular I was drawn to. The night before we were to be assigned, I was sitting on the playground with a group of kids, playing with them on their drums (djembe), and they asked me to sing for them. I told them I had a guitar and asked if they’d like me to play that too. Their their eyes lit up as they eagerly nodded. I ran to get my guitar as daylight was fading and was surprised to find that they knew many songs I played and requested songs I knew. One young man, Peter, was given one of the drums to play along with me and I was again surprised with his ability to play along fairly well. We got in a bit of trouble for the kids being out too late, but it was a great time! One of the staff sent the kids off for dinner and stayed to talk to me. She explained about the boy on the drum. She warned how he has struggled and gave a bit of background on where he came from. She told me that his last buddy gave him the drums but told him they had to be kept in the staff house, not in his dorm. He didn’t like that and ignored his buddy for the rest of the time. Guess what happened next? As I sat there talking with her, God told me this was the boy in whom I was to invest for the next month. I immediately walked inside and put my name by his without thinking twice. I had a bit of fear about how I would connect with him, but thought maybe the music would help. We had a big ceremony the first Monday night to reveal the assigned buddies and their racers. As they called up Peter, and then called out my name, I hurried up front to greet him and he didn’t show much excitement but stood their with me with my hands on his shoulders.
This is Peter. He’s 11 yrs old and in 3rd grade. Many of the kids are behind in school and are not taught well. Much of their learning is simply memorization instead of actually knowing how to do something. This rang true when I realized Peter didn’t really know how to read. So I excitedly went to our first buddy time, ready to help Peter study. The room was loud with excited racer and buddy voices filling the air, and I could barely hear Peter try to answer questions from his homework. We finished fairly quickly but had been encouraged to try to use the full 2 hours for studies. I took Peter outside so we could hear a little better, but he was very resistant. We sat down on some cinder blocks to write in the dirt, but as I tried to talk and discover where he was educationally, Peter began to turn his back to me and hide his face. I continued making efforts to talk to him, even changing the subject to things about him, not necessarily school work. He became completely unresponsive. One of the staff came, and gently told him that he needed to stop being difficult. After he left, Peter began to cry. I didn’t know what else to do, so I lightly rubbed his back and began to tell him how special he was and how much the Father in heaven loved him. After a while, he very slowly began to put the books back in his bag, stood up and slowly took steps away from me. I called his name, but did not feel I should reach out to grab him due to us not knowing each other well. He just kept walking without looking back. I sat discouraged, not knowing what to do….so I prayed. I immediately felt a sense of love for this boy that had to resemble Jesus’ love for us. I received a sense that nothing this boy would do would make me stop pursuing him. I prayed and decided to just watch him interact with others as he appeared again with a group of kids. I saw that he loved soccer when he told me he didn’t. I saw that he laughed and ran around when he would retreat into his shell if I came around. I began to slowly make my way into the area he was. We ended up shooting some baskets together with some other kids and another racer I got some high fives out of him. When it was time to go in to dinner, I high fived him and told him I’d see him the next day. The following days were much like the first. I pursued, asked questions, tried to get creative…..and was ignored. I think we had about 3 decent afternoons of successfully accomplishing some studies. The rest of the time, I was ignored as I attempted to love and invest in him. Funny thing is….he always came back around to me. Even if he ignored…he would be near me. One day, I told him I was going to force him and I was going to chase him for 2 hours. If he wanted my help, he could stay. If he didn’t, he was free to go. He got up and walked off. I stayed put and decided to write him a letter of speaking truth and promise over his life to give to him later. I briefly left the room and when I came back, he had a piece of paper with my name on it that he was coloring. He tried to cover it up when I returned, so I just sat nearby. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him scribble it out and then found the paper torn up into little pieces. My heart sunk, but I later learned that his actions showed that he cared about me, he was just scared to let me see it. He always seemed to find his way back around me, even if he wasn’t talking directly to me. He would come nearby. Hard as it was, there was something special about our relationship.
Sound familiar?? I was reminded time and again throughout my interactions with Peter, that this is just a small taste of God’s interactions with us. But God gave me a love for him that somehow helped me feel a little more of God’s love for me. Even in the moments when I wasn’t directly pursuing Peter because he was ignoring me, my heart was focused on him, and I was nearby watching him also having it made known I was available when hew as ready. The there were still moments that I began pursuing him again. I’m so thankful for the Lord showing me this and for how gracious He is with me. Such a powerful lesson, and I firmly believe the Lord moved through my time with Peter. I am trusting he will become a mighty man of God, filled with compassion and will introduce many others to Jesus.
