The opportunity to do the World Race was an absolute privilege and honor. So, thank you to everyone who helped to make it happen. God chose you to be a part of His story of restoration and Love around the world. I hope that you were able to see that and feel a part of it all over the course of this year.
I’ve been home for 3 weeks now. It’s been wonderful to see and share moments with my family and friends (I still have more to see!). I’m humbled by people who want to meet up and hear about the year; people who share how they and others prayed for me – some whom I never have and possibly never will meet. Wow! These 3 weeks also haven’t been without their struggles. In the midst of the joy of reuniting and celebrating the holidays, I feel like my heart is also……yearning.
For what?
For what was? For what is to come?
The race sorta feels like a dream. I’m not even in a familiar home because my parents moved, but just being with my family and seeing friends creates enough familiarity that sometimes it feels like I was never gone….that is, until I hear my 12 year old nephew speak in his gradually deepening voice! The race, of course, did happen, but I don’t want to yearn for that which was. There will be a practical next step, but I don’t want to yearn for that which will come. There is no swing to “get back into”. There is no ground to put my feet back on. I jumped off that swing, and walked off that ground a year ago; but I don’t want to live as though today has no value. So I sit in limbo thinking about this amazing year but wondering what in the world is happening right now. I share stories with people and smile recalling memories of squad mates, team mates, movements of God, and people we met around the world. It was great, but how do I thrive here and now?? What does my new normal look like? What does it take for “normal life” to qualify as amazing and adventurous?
This was certainly a life changing year to remember, but not one that can’t be topped. I don’t want that perception for 2 reasons. First, what a bummer if my life was all about an extreme once-in-a-lifetime year-long experience and the rest is mundane. Second, I don’t want people like you thinking you can never experience or top the excitement and adventure of the World Race – that your year somehow has any less potential to be one worth remembering, no matter how “normal” it was.
Maybe it’s cliche, and maybe you think I can only say this because I actually went on the journey; but one fact, one truth is valid regardless. That is that one of the greatest gifts of this last year was catching a small glimpse of God’s faithfulness and passion for me to be a part of His story. His story is selfless compassion and love that allows all people to live in relationship with Him. That has nothing to do with any location or program, and that’s why the adventure I experienced this last year is not insurmountable or out of reach for you.
He is the prize.
He is the adventure.
He is the journey.
I mean that. Everything came to a screeching halt, and I was physically separated from our intense community life 3 weeks ago. I’m overwhelmed sometimes. It’s hard sometimes. I want to run and hide sometimes. I cry sometimes and don’t know why. It’s been a challenge to know what it means to currently live in that very truth that I just stated above. However, I’m told this is all normal so I’m trying really hard not to try to “figure it out”.
Don’t try to figure it out.
There is no right way. There is no formula. There’s just Jesus and He’s more than enough. Try it. Stop looking for an answer. Stop looking for a “how to” in the Bible or elsewhere. Just look for Jesus and wait for Him simultaneously. Take whatever step He spurs in your heart, however big or small and trust that He’s doing a whole lot more that you can’t see. The “more” will come in due time; but even still, it’s not the “more” you’re longing for.
It’s Him.
And with Him every year can be a year to remember.
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 27:13-14
