The Orthodox Church is huge in Eastern Europe. From what I’ve been told, the Orthodox faith is very similar to that of Catholicism. The Orthodox Church puts a lot of emphasis on good works. Many people aren’t sure if they will go to heaven or not because they don’t know if they have ‘done enough’. This breaks my heart.
Over the course of the race, God has shown me a lot about what I grew up believing versus what I believe now. I grew up Catholic. The majority of my family are still devoted Catholics. As a child, I had no interest in church. I found it extremely boring and only went because my Mom made me. What I did pick up though was that there were a lot of rules.
Growing up, I was an avid rule follower. I wanted to please people especially my parents. I learned that a good student studied and got good grades. I learned that a good daughter helped around the house, listened to her parents, and didn’t disobey. None of those things are bad things per say. However, it made me fall into the trap of thinking my value fell on my performance. This legalist mindset rolled over into everything. My friendships, my family, my relationships, and once I became a Christian, my faith.
As a senior in High school, I had been baptized as an infant, gone through first communion, and been confirmed in the Catholic Church, yet I couldn’t have told you the difference between Jesus and God. This wasn’t the fault of anyone but myself. I didn’t care up until then. So as a freshman in college when my friend told me that Jesus had died for me because he loved me, I was sold. I had the head knowledge, I understood it but for years after that I still operated thinking that I needed to do things to prove to God that I was worthy or to win his love. I thought if I didn’t do the right things God would love me less.
I was wrapped in so much bondage for this. For years, I tried to do things in my own strength. I gave up drinking alcohol for a period of time because that’s what “good Christians” do. I tried to read my bible because that was what “good Christians” do. But I never measured up. Every time I messed up, I felt such intense guilt.
Here’s the thing. That’s not what living life in freedom is supposed to be like. Somewhere along the way, God grabbed my heart and it finally sunk in. It doesn’t matter how many good or bad things I do, God loves me because he created me! He loves me when I sin. He loves me if I don’t read my bible at all. He loves me and NOTHING is going to change that. I can’t do anything to make him love me any more or any less.
Ephesians 2:8-9 says “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” See! It is a gift of God. Nothing I do will change that.
This changed everything. Now instead of reading my bible out of obligation, I can read it because I long to know my creator more. Now instead of not drinking because that’s what good Christians do, I can choose not to drink because I don’t want to be controlled by anything other than the Holy Spirit.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 says ‘..we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel…” I can walk in the confidence that I already have God’s approval. I can’t do anything to win his approval. It’s already mine.
This has brought me so much freedom! It’s been amazing to share my story with other people all over the world who struggle with thinking that good works will get them closer to God. I pray that my story will help other people to find the freedom that Jesus offers us. He’s offering it to you, will you take it?
