All my life I’ve been a planner. It’s just how I’m wired. I like to know the plans for things and what to expect. I’ve realized over time that when I don’t know what to expect or what the plan is I begin is get anxious and insecure. God is really testing this in my life right now.
In 2 short days, I will be heading to training camp. While I am very excited for the next step on this adventure and to meet the amazing people I will be spending the next year with, when I’m perfectly honest, I’m beyond scared.
Going into training camp, we are told bits and pieces but not really enough to have a clue what to expect. We know we will be broken down to be built back up as a team. We know we will be eating all kinds of crazy stuff. We know we will go from strangers to family in just a week. We know we will sleep in crazy places, learn from amazing people, and praise Jesus like never before. Even knowing that, I’m still clueless on what to expect.
God is teaching me through this that I can’t control my situations. When I know the plans, I feel a sense of peace. I have the control. But where is God in that? If I can control my life, why would I need God? God is slowly, gently taking my hands off my plans. Training camp is just step one. For the next year I won’t have any control over my plans. But God will. God sees the big picture. He knows how it all works out and he knows what is best for me. He has always exceeded my desires. He fulfills every need and want. He will take care of me. He will keep me safe. Jesus says in Mark 5:36 ,“Don’t be afraid; just believe.” I’m choosing to believe that today and every day.
Please be praying for myself, my squad and the 3 other squads as we travel to training camp on Saturday. Pray for a safe journey. Pray all walls will be broken down and that I will be open to what God wants me to experience and learn over the course of next week. Thank you all so much!
Heart and soul,
Kristi
