I didn’t cry at training camp until the very last day, last hour to be exact. I realized that this new season of my life was actually starting. More than that though, I realized this season of my life was ending. Life in Charlotte the past 2 years was coming to an end and the World Race was beginning. I learned at training camp that we have to grieve the ending of one season to begin another. That moment at training camp, I feel like my grieving process began. I’ve cried almost everyday this past two and a half weeks since training camp.
Over these past few weeks, I’ve tried to live in the moment and enjoy the time I have here. I’ve been caught off guard many times when the tears began to flow but they always brought release and left me feeling better and more confident. The last few weeks have been endless “lasts” before the world race. Last time eating at my favorite places. Last time seeing people who have become family. Last time serving at Elevation. I dreaded all of this but in those moments I found myself full of overflowing joy instead of grief. They have been filled with wisdom, laughter, stories, and hope. God has taken these times and helped me to build new memories. He has helped me to hear clear the words of those who love me. Those around me have poured into me in huge ways and I have been able to encourage those around me by simply sharing my story.
I believe the reason I’ve been filled with such joy and hope has a great deal to do with actively grieving this season. God is emptying me to make space for what he has in store. I am ending this season well so I can begin this new season refreshed instead of exhausted. I can be present and excited instead of wishing I were still in the last season.
I still have a lot of “see you later”s to have in the next 4 weeks but I hope they are filled with joy and expectancy just like these past few have been. Thank you to everyone who has been pouring into me these past few weeks. Thank you to those who have been there for the tears and encouraged me through it. Thank you to everyone who has told me they believe in me and are proud of me. It means more than you know. Thank you God for helping me to grieve this season and be filled with overflowing joy that could only come from your spirit and love.
