Everything in our life is for a reason. As Christine Caine wrote in her book Undaunted, “Anything meant in this world for evil, God can use for good. God is able to take the mess of our past and turn it into a message. He takes our trials and tests and turns them into a testimony.”
I’ve always known that. It gave me peace knowing that in the hard times God was going to use those things. He used past wounds for me to ministry to others going through something similar. He used heartaches to teach me to depend on him more. Everything happened for a reason.
On the race, I started to ask God about why certain things were happening or had happened.
Why did He give me a cousin who had cerebral palsy?
Why did I become a speech therapist and what I should do with that after the race?
Why are children with special needs treated so poorly in other countries?
He kept bringing these things to my mind month after month. In Zimbabwe, I learned about the severe shortage of speech therapists. I spent all of India falling in love with the kids at Sarah’s Covenant Home. Last month in Honduras, I was awakened to the reality that kids with cerebral palsy are left for dead. This month, I spent a few hours with a beautiful girl who has cerebral palsy. I started to want to know what exactly was God trying to show me here.
Last month, God began to answer my questions. At the end of our month at Zion’s Gate, Marcy Fenn from Answer the Call Ministries came and presented a seminar to my squad. She talked to us about God’s calling on our lives. From the book Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell, Marcy asked “If you had anything you wanted – unlimited time, unlimited money, unlimited information, unlimited staff – all the resources you could ask for, what would you do?”
I was shocked and scared by the answer that popped in my head. Special Needs Home. Really God? But the more I prayed and thought about it the more it made sense. Every question that had been weighing on my heart pointed to that.
As Christine Caine wrote in Undaunted, “God had to reach into my life and awaken me to the pain of others before I could feel the powerful need to go – before I could want to go, rather than feeling obligated”. God broke my heart over and over for people just like my cousin Patrick so that I would want to go. Christine Caine said it perfectly when she said, “How can you turn and walk away from the oppressed and wounded once they stare back into your eyes?”
I still don’t know exactly what my future holds or what I will do but I do know God is calling me to something big. He is calling me to reach the children who no one else wants. He’s calling me to love the unlovable. He wants me to reach into the darkness and love the least of these. He wants me to do something with a Special Needs Home. I don’t know if that means I will start one, run one, return to India, or simply support one. But I know He has placed that calling on my life. “When Jesus said to go into all the world (Matthew 28:19), he didn’t mean to wait until morning, or until you get the right job, or the perfect spouse, or have your house in order, or find a spare weekend. Christ brought us light in the darkness so that we can reach everyone living a nightmare now.” (Christine Caine, Undaunted)
So here’s my question for you. What is God calling you to do? If you aren’t sure, pay attention to what He keeps bringing to mind or to your attention. I’ve learned that whatever breaks your heart is most likely your ministry. What would you do if you had all the resources you could ask for? Think about it. Pray about it. Let me know.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman
Prayers for continued clarity about this would be so appreciated. Continue to pray that God would show me what steps to take after the race too. Thank you for all of your continued prayers and support. I can’t believe this incredible 11 months will be coming to an end in less than 50 days. It’s exciting knowing that this is just the beginning though. Our God has amazing plans for me.
