China wasn’t my favorite…
Maybe if it hadn’t been bitter cold I might have enjoyed it.
Maybe if more people spoke English it might have gone smoother.
Maybe if I hadn’t felt completely alone with little knowledge on how to do our ministry I would have loved it.
Maybe if our whole team/squad hadn’t gotten a nasty chest cold, including myself, I might have looked forward to ministry.
Maybe if I had been able to call family or friends for a listening ear, I might have felt a little more at ease.
Maybe if I hadn’t been hit by lie after lie from the enemy I might have been able to focus.
I won’t lie to you. This month was rough for me.
The last few days of December were spent in Beijing for debrief. During that time, I was able to see that although this month was rough, God was doing some serious work in me.
I could sit here and be frustrated all day about the past month or I can recognize what God did in me this month.
If it hadn’t been bitter cold in China, I wouldn’t have learned to preserve and choose in to ministry even when I didn’t feel like it.
If more people spoke English, I wouldn’t have seen the way God completely provided for my team by putting people in our path at just the right time.
If I hadn’t felt completely alone, I wouldn’t have learned what complete and utter dependence on God looks like. If I had more knowledge, I wouldn’t have realized how much of my life continues to be legalist.
If we all hadn’t gotten sick, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to fight for my team and squad in prayer for our health. I wouldn’t have taken the time to really rest like I needed.
If I had been able to call my family and friends, I wouldn’t have turned to God and my team when things got rough. I wouldn’t have taken deeper steps into abandonment and dependence on Him.
If I hadn’t been hit by lie after lie from the enemy, I wouldn’t have learned the importance of speaking those lies out. I wouldn’t have seen a huge area in my life that needs healing. I wouldn’t have been able to speak those out at debrief and take steps towards freedom.
As hard as those lessons were to learn, I know I needed to learn them. One of the first things I learned on the race was that God always has us exactly where we are supposed to be. Sometimes that doesn’t look like we expect. Despite that, it’s always exactly where He planned. I can’t wait to see what he has next for me in the Philippines!
**This month, I’ll be on Mindanao Island working with Kids International Ministries. I’m so excited about this month! I’ll post a blog soon with details about ministry. Happy New Year from the Philippines!
