Training camp was difficult. They can teach you a lot of things, but you never know how things are actually going to play until they happen. A few weeks ago, I started out training camp as the only alumni squad leader present for my squad. It was just by chance that it worked out that way, and it seemed like a daunting task.
20ish hours a day, I felt responsible for the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of 53 humans. That is a lot of responsibility to put on yourself, and it is honestly illogical to think that it is possible to carry that burden.
1. Sickness and injury happens. The best thing you can do is stay calm and get the help that you need. #hospitalvisits
2. People are going to have lots of emotions. I am not always going to understand them, and that’s okay.
3. The spiritual health of another person is not something I can control, and I really don’t want to.
Anyway, I thought, “well, they trust me to be in this position, so I am going to do everything for everyone.” That is a recipe for burn-out. I had good intentions, but the expectations I had for myself were unattainable. I wanted everyone to like me, be happy all the time, and have big life changes at training camp. None of those things were in my control, but I subconsciously wanted them to be. I had the desire to do everything on my own, even though I had little reference to how things work at training camp like this.
I was leading a group of 50-something humans that I had just met, in a place I had never really been, in a way that I had never led anyone before. Obviously, I was not going to be perfect, but I didn’t see that.
It turns out that God is the best planner in the world, even if we don’t make the connections until later.
First, he gave me a “training team” of people that were there every step of the way. He put me in situations where I had to ask questions. He let me mess up in safe ways. He put me in places that challenged me enough that I had to talk about things and practice being open. God knew that was the only way that I was going to break down my walls enough to accept that autonomy is not the end-all. Doing things on your own is great… until it’s not.
My conclusion is this: I cannot lead a group of 50-something people on my own. I cannot be everyone’s best friend. I cannot fix every problem that comes up. But… I can trust that God will do that for the people around me. He will give me the strength and insight to know what I can do, and He will fill in the gaps. He will let me love people in the ways that I can, but He will love them more deeply and fully than I ever could. God is good. He is there for all people in all times, and He is the real winner.
When I give up my control and my expectations, I give Him room to do what He does best. Training camp teaches you everything from “how to pitch a tent” to “how to hear God’s voice more clearly,” but it taught me that I can’t do things alone.
I would say it was 10 days well spent.
Check out these training camp blogs from my people (who are better writers than me):
