Heyyyyy lovely people!
Today is one of those days that I can really feel GOD Stirring something in my heart. As I sit here at work, listening to worship songs, there is a heavy feeling on my heart.
To be honest, this time serving on Active in the Army has not been all that I thought it was going to be. Usually I am motivated and the structure does me well. Something is different this time.
Maybe it’s because I have been used to being home and seeing friends and family whenever I want and I am missing home and my comfort.
Maybe it is because I have not been able to commit to a church here because of traveling and I am missing being surrounded by a Christian community
Maybe it is because I have so much going on, so much preparing to do and working is like the last thing I have time for.
Maybe it is because the unit is different than what I am used to…everyone doing their own thing and not really working together as a family.
It has not been the soul refreshing, inspiring experience as I hoped but I needed this experience for so many reasons. Not just for the money or benefits, not for sense of purpose or to be around military people again but for something Greater…
I needed it for God to show me that my identity is not in the Army.
For the last couple of years, anytime I felt lost, confused or in search of purpose, I always thought the military was the answer. I kept going back and forth about whether I want to go back Active or not. Last year I told myself that after graduation I had two choices: The Army fulltime or The World Race. Nothing else. Last summer I truly thought I was choosing the Army but something was holding me back.(God had a different plan Thank God!) I wasn’t 100% convinced and I am so glad I followed my heart. Once I decided on The World Race, my heart felt at peace and I knew that was what I needed to do.
If you spent time with me these past few years you know that “sense of purpose” drove me crazy and I had a hard time with working through it. It would also trigger my grief because I just wanted to go back to who I was in the Army and I knew that could never be. But…
Finally this summer, being here, It Finally clicked. My identity, my purpose is not in the Army. In fact it is never in my circumstance. It is in my faith…in Jesus. It is such an amazing feeling to truly know and believe this. Does this mean I will never struggle with identity or purpose…NO. But I can continue to grow closer to God and believe the Truth of who He says I am.
I am a daughter of a King, a Child of God, Chosen, Redeemed, Forgiven
I am fearfully and wonderfully made-Psalm 139:14
I am altogether beautiful, there is no flaw in me. Song of Songs 4:7
John 15:16- I did not choose Jesus, but He chose Me and appointed me to go and bear fruit, fruit that remains, so that whatever I ask the Father in Jesus’ name, he will give me.
Wow-A weight is lifted off my shoulders. I am here to serve, love others, grow closer to Jesus and to spread the hope, joy, forgiveness, grace, love, mercy, peace, and comfort that knowing, really knowing Jesus can bring.
God has been calling me to this moment, to this journey for some time now and I cannot wait to launch and see what God has in store. I am becoming more and more excited, especially as I continue to get to know my Squad through all different types of social media and even meeting face to face, as I buy stuff I am going to need, as I spend time watching videos and reading blogs of current and past Racers and as I get to talk about The World Race and what I will be doing to all of you and other random people. AHHHHHHHHHH 126 days away until I LEAVE! I cannot wait to share this journey with you all.
Matthew 28:19-20 (NET) – “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of age.”
Thank you all so much for reading this, for supporting me, encouraging me, loving me, believing in me, and donating in many ways. I appreciate you all so much.
Please continue to keep myself, my team and the other countries in your thoughts and prayers.
Love you all <3
Love,
Kristen
