How am I since being home?
A question I get a lot and a question I usually only have a few minutes to answer.
Being back home has been good, interesting, but good.
I have enjoyed seeing people, spending time with family and friends, relaxing and trying to settle in BUT of course I miss being on the field, spending time with the most beautiful souls around the world.
*Some days, I would hop on a plane and go back if I could.
*Some days I feel like I am just gliding around, not really knowing how to think or how to process this past year.
*Some days I wrestle with being in America. We have so much but still complain and want more.
*Some days I am sad and have all these emotions but lie to myself and say I am ok.
*Some days I’m physically somewhere but internally somewhere else.
There is nothing like this past year.
The new experiences, new adventures, new faces, new love, new sense of joy and peace, new perspectives, lessons learned, freedom found, confidence grown, lives transformed, souls awakened, seeing Gods presence all around the world.
I will never forget this year and I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that it even happened and that it is over.
*Then some days I feel at peace with being home and enjoy the comfort of my own home, excited for what’s next.
*I love being able to spend time with the people I care about
*I notice my senses have been heightened with how good things are- like wearing this blanket sweatshirt and really appreciating just how comfy I really was Or eating a red life savor noticing just how yummy it tasted
*I am extremely grateful for this past year and being able to see different parts of the world, meeting different people, living in different cultures
*I am grateful for the tough days, hard lessons learned, refining process and for having my heart break for what breaks HIS.
*I never knew I could love so much until this year. The goodbyes were hard but my soul has come ALIVE!
Towards the end of this year, God has given me peace about coming home for a bit, at least 1year. It could be longer but I know I will at least be home for that long.
So for now, I will be working to save up money, pay off bills and be present where I am, enjoying the people around me.
It’s not always easy and I have to keep reminding myself not to think too far ahead and just be intentional in the moment.
I may never know what a year, 5 years, or 10 years looks like for me but I do know that I can trust God to continue to guide me. I know He will reveal what’s next for me in each season when the time is right.
And even if being home is a process and I don’t exactly know what’s in the future for me, I am at an amazing place in my life.
I found true freedom in who I am this past year-I no longer feel lost.
So, no matter where I am at in life, I know I have a God who loves me and I am thankful for the person He has created me to be.
I pray that you are able to feel this too.
Life is so precious and we are valuable human beings.
God has unlocked a key in my heart. He has opened my eyes to so much. So many passions, desires, dreams and so much need in this world.
THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!
X
