This past week my squad was at debrief in Nepal. Debrief is a time in between ministries where we rest, discuss the previous month, and lean into the work that the Father has begun within us. When I was leaving India two weeks ago I was frustrated with the Lord, but I didn’t really think I had anything to work through with Him… but then He spoke to me in Nepal. He reassured me that He and I had plenty of unfinished business from the previous month.
I heard the audible voice of God in Nepal.
I heard the voice of the Father through two squad mates, within my soul, from a squad leader, and then AGAIN through one of my squad coaches. The best part is… I heard from Him through all of these people in one single day. That’s it. In just one day I heard the voice of God six times. Clearly He was desperate to talk to me.
9:15 am During squad-wide worship as I was leading I felt the Lord stirring in my soul. As we sang “The Lion and the Lamb” the Father was reminding me that He is all powerful. The lyrics to the song say “every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb,” He was prompting me to zero in on that. Not just one person, or that guy over there, or some people, but ALL people will bow before him in His timing.
9:45 am Again, as we were worshipping and singing a new song, the Father spoke to me. This time we were singing “Since Your Love” and the lyrics that we were belting out said “In You is all I need, You’re my breath, You’re my life, You’re my everything,” referring to the fact that the Lord is our everything but in that moment He told me that there was someone amongst us who just could not sing those words over themselves. He asked me to re-write those lyrics a bit and invite my squad to sing them as a prayer over whoever may be feeling that way. I listened and I am so glad I did. We then all sang, “In Him is all you need, He’s your breath, He’s your life, He’s your everything.”
10:00 am As we closed worship one of my squad mates, Ashley, stood up with a word from the Father. She explained that this was a word she had been holding onto for a few days but she felt that it was finally time to share it and that it was for a specific person (me). This past month I spent a lot of time arguing with the Lord asking Him why He wasn’t performing huge miracles through me and wondering if there was something wrong with me that prevented Him from doing so. Just before this worship session I had been praying to Him about it. Her word was this; “I am still the God I was in the Old Testament. I still do healings and miracles; I still reign from Heaven with all power and thunder that I did all those years ago. Trust, be still, and I WILL show up when you call.”
11:20 am I had a one on one with my squad leader, Carmella. The night before I had asked her to pray for a word from the Lord for me because I was feeling stuck and I just needed to hear from Him. Of course she agreed and as we sat down she gave me what she was given… “Trust the Lord.” That was it, that simple. See a pattern here? As we continued to talk she spoke so much life into me and edified me. She told me that there is so much power in my story. I am a living, breathing example of the Gospel played out. She showed me that the Lord does wonderful works through me when He brings me before the squad to lead worship or in the conversations that I have with others. They may not be physical healings or raising people from the dead but they are JUST as important.
4:45 pm I had another one on one with my squad coach, Amy. Our conversation weaved in and out of many topics but ultimately boiled down to where I was at with the Lord and so I explained my position and told her about the word from Ashley as well as Carmella. Our conversation veered away from that again and later she looked at me and said “You just need to trust the Lord.” She continued her sentence and then realized what she had said, she hadn’t even thought about the connection. She simply heard it from God and delivered it to me faithfully.
8:45 pm I helped lead worship again for our evening session. It was clear that the Father was hard at work within me during the day and the enemy came back at me just a little harder. He grabbed a foothold in my worship leading and filled me with such a spirit of performance. He convinced me that I needed to sound good to win the respect of my squad. This was all obviously a lie. As I sat down to receive the message, the Lord convicted me. He told me that it wasn’t just Him that I needed to apologize to, but my squad. Of course, I stalled and bargained. Who wants to humble themselves like that? Then without missing a beat my other squad coach, John preached a message entirely about living in community, forgiving one another, and extending grace. I saw You, God… so as he wrapped up I stood and asked my squad for forgiveness and without batting an eye they immediately did. Peace washed over me as I saw the love in the eyes of my squad and in the eyes of the Father.
And this was only one day… welcome to the World Race, folks. Cheers to all that God is working out within me this month.
Kristen
