How the World Race works is we have our entire squad of 54 people (U Squad) and then we have 8 teams of 6-7 people who we’re with constantly. These are the people we do life with. These smaller teams are sent out to different ministry sites throughout the country we’re working in. One thing that you may have noticed is that I am no longer a member of team LOL (Ladies of the Lord). My team of seven girls that I lived with and did ministry with for four months is no longer.
Going into debrief in Kathmandu, we were expecting team changes. I knew the Lord was going to turn everything upside down, or right side up, depending on how you look at it. Emotions were high as we had our last moments together as LOL. Hannah, Kacy, Mallory, Taysha, Allison, and Shaylee were the six girls the Lord had put into my life for four months to help me learn to love well, understand my identity in Christ, and most importantly, help me grow in my relationship with God. These six girls had stood beside me through so much, and tears were shed as we had our last moments together in prayer and worship. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye.
We were all given envelopes to open at the same time to let us know who our new team leader would be. I opened mine and it said Jace, and then I knew. I knew I was in for a very different few months than my first four. I asked God, what are you doing? What are you going to teach me through being on a co-ed team?
As we all gathered in our new teams, Jace, Kyle, Micah, Hannah, Kristen G. (because that’s not confusing at all), and I met up for the first time. It was a moment of subtle awkwardness since I didn’t know them very well, other than Hannah who was on LOL with me. We agreed to meet up and grab lunch.
Pizza was our first meal together. The boys all had their own; the girls shared. We hung out, laughed, talked about our pet peeves, favorite things, boundaries, and all the other things six people who are about to do life together for the next few months would normally talk about. It put us all at ease to know that we could relax and just have a good time together.
One of the things we had to come up with at this lunch was a new team name. We tossed around ideas for a good 30 minutes. One of the best, in my opinion, was our Native American name, Leaping Buffalo. Then Kyle chimed in and said, “What about ing?” Our squad leadership had stressed a shift in our outlook for the WR after month four. They were praying for us to become focused on advancing God’s kingdom instead of advancing our own relationship with Him. With that perspective, Kyle’s suggestion was perfect. This next season would be about lovING, servING, movING, and bringING His kingdom to Earth. We all agreed. Ing it is.
A few days later we got our ministry assignment. We bussed to Pokhara, Nepal (the second biggest city) and then met our host to trek 6 kilometers up into the mountains. Let me tell ya, carrying near 60 pounds of stuff up rocky trails in the himalaya mountains in the dark is not the most fun thing I’ve done on the race. About two hours later we all made it up okay, albeit sore and sweaty. Our ministry this month is doing yard work and construction on the Yak Ranch, a soon to be respite for missionaries and people to come and seek God with a beautiful view. Each morning we wake up to the Annapurna range of the Himalayas outside of our bedroom doors. Not too shabby.
It’s just us, our host (a man from Norway named Oyvan), and whatever set of Nepali workers decide to show up each day. In other words, team Ing gets a lot of time together. Hanging out constantly with three guys, and then Zach and Danny (the squad leaders who came to visit for a week) has been an entirely new experience for me.
I have never been a girl who was just “one of the guys.” I have only had one long-term guy friend in my life, and we live in different states. When I was younger, I was unable to find guys who just wanted to be friends with me, and it always ended up in awkwardness. I began avoiding building deeper friendships with men altogether. It was just easier that way. That, unfortunately, included the men of U Squad.
I knew the Lord was going to teach me how to love and respect these guys as my brothers in Christ, but I had no idea how foreign that would be. We decided our first set of team times we would share our testimonies, which basically turn into a summary of our life story. During worship I felt the Lord pushing me to go first and be vulnerable because it was far outside of my comfort zone.
As I sat down to give my testimony I had a tightness in my chest I’ve never experienced before. I’m an open book, or at least I thought I was. But I’d never had to open up to an audience of men before. I realized that it would have been easier for me to tell a room full of 100 women my story than these three guys sitting in front of me. I told them as much, and they were gracious with me and encouraged me through it.
I spoke about my life, my family, friends, and my experiences. I tried to shed light for them on why I viewed men the way I did for so many years. I let them in on what the Lord was doing in my heart in an effort to change that viewpoint. I illustrated the image of my identity he is helping me redesign every day. God called me to talk about everything, not just the light, rosy stuff.
My team listened, they asked questions, and then they prayed for me. They thanked God for me. I nearly teared up. I never believed men I am not involved with would appreciate me for anything other than my looks or what I had to offer them. But Jace, Kyle, and Micah just honestly want to love me as a sister. They see that I have value, and they treat me like it.
Kristen, Hannah, and I all feel loved and valued. The guys show us by listening to what we have to say, letting us lead when we hike so no one falls behind, giving us their coats when it rains, making sure we never take a taxi on our own, and just taking care of us the way a good brother should. We do our best to reciprocate in ways that they appreciate, like giving them our leftovers and not talking about our periods in their presence. Somehow I don’t think it will ever be balanced.
God has been continually revealing my identity and value throughout the course of this race. He has chosen to take my new team and wonderful brothers to heal a part of my heart I didn’t know was wounded. He has chosen to show me how much I am valued through the men and women around me, and it has been a blessing for which I am continually thankful.
