Overwhelmed. That is the word that described my last few months. I was overwhelmed by the amount of money I need to raise, by the amount of time I will be gone, and by the things I am “giving up” in order to go on this mission trip. I have never been this overwhelmed. It was not a coincidence that the more I chose to fight the feelings of being overwhelmed on my own, the more overwhelming everything became. People would ask me how I was doing in regards to the Race and if I was excited, and I would lie. I would say how I couldn’t wait and that I was SUPER excited to go. Which was partially true… I knew that once I’m out there I would be excited, but in the moments when I was actually asked how I felt, excitement was very low on the list. I was honestly scared to go to God with this overwhelmed feeling. I was scared he would tell me that I had made a mistake with choosing the Race,or that I was too overwhelmed to do any good and He had made a mistake with choosing me to go. But that’s the beauty of God, He will patiently wait for you to come to Him. When I finally let Him in on my emotions and thoughts toward the Race, He gently reminded me that I am His daughter. So with being His daughter comes access to His finances, access to His peace, and access to His heart. He showed me that,yes, I was giving things up in order to go on this trip, but that He would return them to me better that before. He showed me that I am qualified to do this because He was the one who called me. After that reminder, I was not so overwhelmed. I could look at the race and get excited. I could look at gear I need and not feel my chest tighten. I am able to walk in peace knowing I am continually being made stronger and braver with each day, and every time I make the decision to choose excitement over fear. I always assumed that if it was the plan God had for me, I would never have second thoughts or doubts. But that isnt true, the enemy wants to do everything he can to derail our destiny and that includes feeding us lies to scare us and make us doubt. Thats when we have to lean on God the most. Thats when knowing our identity is vital. I know I will get overwhelmed as the launch date draws closer, but I also know that the excitement will over shadow that. I can honestly say that I am excited to run this Race.
