Vision blurred. Tears streaming down. Tears full of heartbreak, disappointment, confusion, but most of all injustice.
This is what it felt like to pull away, to leave our ministry two weeks early.
Injustice. That word. I thought I knew the meaning of that word. I've heard it so many times, have heard so many stories. But after this past week, I know the word better than I want to.
The question of "why?" burns on my tongue, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, my heart. Why? Why does a woman have to be chained because there is no other resource for her? Why does a mother come and demand her barely two year old baby back so that she can use her to beg on the streets? But most of all, why do I get to leave, go away from this? To go home to a room and bed to myself while ten people sleep in one room sharing one hard floor?
I am tempted to swallow the bitterness, the injustice as my food. To let it be what I digest.
But Jesus reminds me that He is still in this. Wherever I go, in whatever I do, He is there. And He is good. And He reminds me to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" [1 Thessalonians 5:18].
To praise Him, to give thanks. I bite my lip for a moment considering what this means. This means praising and thanking God in this pain, this heartbreak, this disappointment, this injustice. Believing that He is good. In all of this, that truth remains- unscathed, untarnished, and unfathomable.
So, even in this moment as I still struggle through the "why?" and that stinging word injustice I still believe in my God and that He is good.
One who brought Han, an incomprehensible JOY. Han who was born on the streets and as young girl was picked up by the police who promised her safety but instead trafficked her across the Thai border where she was forced into prostitution and as result is now living with HIV+. But I give thanks- that I serve a good God, who found Han and carried her to safety in His arms to a place where she freely and joyfully serves Him.
That, even though we had to leave this ministry for safety reasons- God, You are still good. Because You gave me six unforgettable days with Your most beautiful women and children. You are good.
There are many other details that went into the decision of the removal of our team, but I don't think it is necessary to share all of that. Just know that God is good. All the time.
For the rest of the month my team and I will be traveling around Cambodia as Unsung Heroes looking for new ministries for future World Racers to partner with. If you know of any ministries or connections please do tell!
Also, I only $2,000 from being FULLY FUNDED! Thank you to all for your support-may God bless you for your generosity. If you would like to continue to give to my year in missions please click the "Support Me" link above.
Thank you all, I love you!
