"To understand the Master's plan- it's all beyond me. But to do His will, inscribed in my conscience, this is not beyond me, there is no doubt of that. And when I am doing it, I certainly feel at peace with the world. Yes, the thing is to feel like a Servant, not the Master."
Leo Tolstoy's "Resurrection"
This quote has so many dimensions for me. The essence of my existence, the purpose of why God created me is echoed so clearly in these words in which Tolstoy penned long ago.
To be the Servant, not the Master.
Isn't that just the classic war one wages. Torn between the Servant and Master that lies deep within one's heart.
Since my return from Training Camp I have been thrust into the busyness of my everyday, Lancaster County life. Work, family, friends, weddings, reunions, freezing 100 dozen ears of corn (only true Lancaster County folk will understand that one), obligations, details, preparation, on + on. All good things, very good things! But somehow, in the midst of this all, I find myself once again becoming the Master.
"no, no, no the thing is to feel like the Servant, not the Master…"
So, here I am again. Lost, unsure, + ruling my own days. Trying again to be the Master.
Oh, but here comes the best part. He gives me my Servant's heart again. He gives it to me + is my Master again. Even when I didn't remember, He never forgot.
And to be Servant of this Master means joy, not pain. It feels like freedom, not slavery. It tastes sweet, not bitter. It means life, not death.
Oh, I want this. I want this so very much. To hear those words "Well done, good + faithful Servant."
I am beyond grateful for how this next year is going to shape me in this very way.
Thank you all so, so much for your incredible support. It means incredibly much to me and blesses me deeply.
<3
