7 months considering, 5 months preparing, 2 weeks training, 38 hrs traveling and I am finally here in Manila. Just thinking about God’s heart and encouragement in getting here brings me to tears.
I didn’t realize a year ago as I was saying goodbye to 3 World Racers that I would be standing in their similar shoes about 365 days later. Nor did I ever think that ten years after 9/11 that I would be touching down in the Philippines. My heart is with you American as we remember this day, those that lost their lives and the bravery that our service men/women showed as they ran toward danger and risked their safety to save whoever they could. These people showed courageous love in the midst of tragedy. To me they regarded the interest and lives of others more important than themselves.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or in conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
This is where my heart is. The Lord is pressing in to teach me the importance of having an outward focus instead of inward. I am learning that when I focus inward, I either focus on all of my human flaws (that have been covered by God’s love and the blood of His lamb) resulting in insecurities or I focus on all the things “I” have done “well” (sadly comparing my strengths to others) resulting in pride. Whether I want to believe it or not, both are forms of narcissism.
The Lord has been addressing my insecurities since I arrived at training camp Sept. 2nd. He is not letting my middle/high school insecurities go without real healing. Today He led me to a passage that brought peace and restoration addressing my habit of comparison and feeling inadequate in1 Corinthians 12:12-26. Talking about how God gave us as humans unique qualities that when formed together create a body of parts that can’t work independently from the others. The verse that hit me the strongest was 21-22 “The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.” Even though we may put human value on one part over the other, I doubt any of us would voluntarily give up even the pinky toe- for the sake of “not needing it.” After reading this I realized that I have no excuse to think that I cannot add anything to this squad/my team. That kind of thinking literally doesn’t make any sense anymore. If it did, I would be telling the Lord that what He made was inadequate. Insulting!!! I’m not writing this for sympathy. God has already won! I share this with you to hopefully give you the same encouragement.
I am learning that I am His masterpiece, as you are His masterpiece too. He wishes to show off in this world. If it wasn’t so, we wouldn’t have been created. The only way that He can succeed in showcasing us is if we are authentic and allow ourselves to be who we are without self-consciousness and self-doubt. I keep thinking- ‘Thank you Father. Thank you for your truth and the freedom that is found in it.’
I’m currently staying in a wonderful home belonging to KIM ministries to get over the jet lag. I’m 15 hrs ahead of California and 18 hrs ahead of Hawaii. We head out to meet our ministry contact on Tuesday morning where we will go, “Feed the Hungry.” I don’t know much other than that except they told us not to expect showers. Hmmmm…. ‘Can we expect a bucket?’ Hope so! Been learning to make do with icy hose showers, sink faucets and water spickets. The clean freak in me is learning to let go and have fun with it! I’ll be sure to catch you up when we get there. PS. ITS HOT HERE 🙂
Here is a pic of our first yummy Philippino lunch- Adobo- Chicken and potatos in a soy sauce over rice. Yum!
Loving you all,
Kristen
