Wow It’s been a long time since I have been on this blog. Even entering the World Race website brings back a flood of memories. So much has changed, yet so much has not. Yes I am back in the states, but my heart is still to serve & serve in ways that require God’s leading, safety and provision.
I’ve been home from the World Race for 2 years almost to the day. When I first got back my reverse culture shock was so unbelievably high – I was not fit to handle Silicon Valley. During that time I met people who I am now working for, but at the time God had to firmly tell me not yet. Took 6 months to get back to normal. I remember a common question I’d ask my youngest sister was, ‘Am I acting like an alien?’ What I was really asking was, ‘Am I relatable? Am I making sense or am I coming off strange with everything I do/say?’
This messed with my type-A personality. I came back wanting to jump into a paying job and God’s first order of business was for me to serve. FOR FREE! No money. I remember asking Him after my 6 month resting period (may sound long but I was not fit for society (other racers may understand) and I’m thankful for the time I had with my family) what He wanted me to do that year (2014) and I felt like He told me to SERVE.
My number #1 strength on Strength Finder is Responsibility, so coming back I had getting a job & working as my top priority. You can imagine the order to “serve” really went against my desire to contribute to the household and not losing my place in this fast paced tech savvy valley. Not that I’m a tech person but the feeling of needing to succeed is huge here.
I was living at home with my parents at 26 years old (I’m still here & I’m about to be 28 – humbling!) and they are asking me about my future plans – aka – politely asking “When will you be moving out?” And my only comeback was that God told me to serve. Aka – get another internship, start over.
Random note: dates with men would end real quick when they found out that I was serving for a career. I’d reach at anything to sound normal like a freelance producer. I think they could tell the emphasis was on FREE.
Not fully understanding but feeling completely at peace with my parents blessing to serve that year and see what happened – I went to it. I met with Daniel Garcia – The Cultivator of Content Magazine, John Stalker – Media Pastor at FCC & Tricia – Producer for Changing Boundaries, The History of San Jose documentary & asked “How can I serve your vision?”
I worked 30-50 hrs a week for 12 months. In my off time I’d check in with God to make sure I really heard Him right. There was no pay for months so I had to supplement with babysitting & recycling to fill my tank so I could make it to these places I had committed to. I think I remember the boy I babysat saying, “I was the oldest babysitter he had ever had.” It was financially a low year, & to be honest a humbling year. On the surface it sucked. No hiding that. God knows what my quite times looked like, but it taught me a lot about generosity. Funny how I got to learn that off the race.
God’s alternative plans eventually led me to my hearts desire (of having a career in production) but it took 1.5 years. Funny thing was, it didn’t show up until I gave it up. I gave up my fear of being poor. (Laughing to myself because this might be a good one to practice in other areas – like giving up the fear of never getting married might lead to “the one” lol).
I am now contracted by Content Magazine as “The Producer.” God literally blows my mind with the care He takes in the gifts He gives. I produce monthly events in San Jose (10th largest city in the US) & I get to produce fashion editorial in each print publication. I am not saying that I have “arrived,” but it is a huge blessing & right in line with my future career goals. I realize that I am so blessed & even more so, because my boss is a follower of Jesus.
Coming to a close, I also feel blessed for the year I lived with less/close to none. I had a lot more family & friend time, became a lot more resourceful, got better at serving & taking care of kids (especially boys), learned a lot of lessons & became thankful for what I did have. Coming out of that year – Finances feel like a gift that has been freely given and therefore can be given freely (as the Lord directs). I don’t want to say I am no longer bound by money, but I feel less bound and for that I’m so thankful.
Closing thoughts: You may feel weird coming back from the WR. It’s normal! (you didn’t contract some kind of demon-though the enemy might try to tell you that’s true) God might have you in job limbo for awhile. It’s normal! You are not a failure-it will eventually come. Don’t force it, follow His lead. God will always provide. Even if its in the most humbling way possible (bottles for nickels). And let go of your fears. They will only hold you back.
