Two weeks ago Pastor David spoke on gifts. Spiritual gifts and the gifts of Christ- the 5 fold ministry. At the end of the service he prayed for us and prayed that we would grow in the gifts of the Lord that he has given us.
It has been spoken, prayed, and prophesied that I have the gift of healing. And it has been said so many times that I believe the Lord is truly trying to confirm . . . or rather, convince me in my heart that it is true. It isn’t that I don’t believe it. It isn’t that I don’t want the gift . . . I DO more than anything! I am already a nurse, so what an amazing privilege to care for, but not only care for- PRAY HEALING over the sick and see them made well!
SO, if I desire it so earnestly why haven’t I seen more people healed? . . . I would say it is because I have small faith. I need bigger faith!
Do you remember the two crippled people and the one dying man in India that I shied away from when I felt so strongly in my heart the Holy Spirit urging me to reach out to them?! (if not you can read it here: I just denied Christ 3 times . . . wow and I just realized that was almost exactly a year ago! . . . you think id’ve learned by now.) Anyway- small faith.
Two weeks ago as I stood during worship at the end of the service, I recalled the story the in Mark 9 about the boy who was demon possessed and his poor, desperate father lays him at the feet of Jesus and says, “Please, if you can do anything, then help us!” . . . I imagine Jesus crinkling his eye brows as he says it, “IF?” Then the man cries out, “I believe, help my unbelief!” As I remembered this story I began to pray it, “I believe, help my unbelief!”
I believe your Spirit still moves and still does miraculous signs and wonders,
help my unbelief!!
I believe I have the gift of healing,
help my unbelief.
I believe you will use my hands to heal many,
help my unbelief.
Then I recalled to mind the woman I had seen just that week. Bent over completely in half walking with a small wooden stick, barely able to lift her neck to see in front of her; clothes tattered, dirty and worn; her gray, wiry hair pulled back but frizzling out on either side. My heart went out to her as I sat on my bike and watched her hobble her way across the intersection’s crosswalk. My heart, mind and spirit at once said, “stand up straight in Jesus’ name!” but do you think I walked over to her, and talked with her about a Savior who loves her and can heal her?! No, I rode home praying for her as I went. Why didn’t I stop? I have a host of excuses . . . I needed to get back to the safe house; I was running late; I don’t know the “King’s vocabulary” yet which is the vocabulary you use when speaking about God, so I can’t even tell her about Jesus anyway . . . the list goes on, but it boils down to one thing- small faith.
Deep down in my heart I didn’t believe she would stand up straight even if I prayed for her. I didn’t believe that the Lord could actually give me the Khmer words to speak . . . I didn’t believe. I didn’t have faith.
So as I stood there, mulling all these things over in my mind, David asks us if any of us know we have the gift of healing, and to raise our hands, he wants to pray for us. I raised my hand.
As I receive his words a prayer and a promise begin to form in my heart: “I believe Lord, help my unbelief. Lord, I want your Holy Spirit to help increase my faith. I will stop and pray for every person you prompt me to pray for. I will stop and pray healing. No more excuses. Even if the first one isn’t healed when I pray, I will continue to pray, if the 1000 th person isn’t healed when I pray I will continue to pray and believe in this gift, which you have already confirmed by the word of more than 3 witnesses! Amen.”
SO . . .
Last week I went into Khmer class. My teacher and I have started praying together before every class. As she is trying to teach me how to pray in Khmer and is beginning with some basic “King vocabulary”. She tells me her back is hurting and when she lifts up her shirt a little to show me her back there is a large golf ball sized lump there. It is not hard, it’s soft and mushy, but a painful lump. I know I am supposed to pray for her and ask her if I can lay a hand on her back. She sits in the chair next to me and I pray. When I finish, she doesn’t tell me that the pain is gone, and I am pretty sure I can still feel the lump under my hand, but what she did say was that the place my hand was touching felt red hot like it was on fire as soon as I started praying and didn’t stop until I ended. . . . so that’s a start anyway and I tell her I will continue to pray and believe full healing is on the way.
Then yesterday in church, I had arrived early with the kids. As they played outside, I went in to sit, read and pray. Our translator came in, a beautiful Khmer girl. She asked how I was, I returned the question. I could see that she wasn’t quite okay. When I asked, she began telling me a story about how she got into an accident on her moto. The vehicle that hit her knocked her off and began dragging her moto with it. Thank you Jesus she wasn’t pinned under and dragged herself. But I could tell the fall still took a toll on her. Her whole right side ached she said focusing on a right arm she was gingerly holding and could barely move at the shoulder joint. Again, I knew I was supposed to pray for her.
I laid hands on her and began listening to what the Lord wanted to say about this pain and this accident. I prayed over her for a little while and when we stopped I asked her how she was feeling. A large smile strolled across her face as she began swinging her arms in large circles, rotating it at the shoulder joint, smiling, laughing and telling me her pain was gone completely!
The Lord is so so so good to us. He moves, he creates, he loves, he heals, he puts the broken back together, and he makes us whole. He is worthy of ALL praise! I am grateful the Lord has heard my prayers and is answering me, answering my desire for bigger faith. The faith that heals the sick. The faith that moves mountains and sees His Kingdom come.
