A few of my teammates and I have discussed how at one time or another or a few times during this month we have all wanted to turn inward away from community and retreat within ourselves. I know this to be so so so true of me. As a result I have felt dry at times. But the usual places I would normally run to- either to my friends and family back home or my ipod or just plain sleep- have either not been available to me or have not satisfied. I know God has been stripping me of the comforts I long for so that I will begin to cling to him with a firmer grasp. There has been one overarching theme running through this month in Australia in my personal quiet life with the Lord-
It is only in his presence that I am refreshed and it is only by walking with his Holy Spirit that I may obtain this refreshment.
Recently the book, I Dared to Call Him Father by Bilquis Sheikh was placed in my hands. I opened the book expectantly thinking I would learn more about how to share the love of Christ to the Muslim world. What I got was so much more personal and rich!
The relationship that Bilquis shared with our Lord is a beautiful, real-life example of living out the challenge I set before us a few weeks ago- she lived in the manifest presence and glory of God minute by minute. She was so atuned to his leading and his voice. She describes instances when she would feel the glory- as she calls it- leave her. She describes it as feeling a distance between her and God. These instances were times when she was walking contrary to the Holy Spirit’s leading. However, they did not last very long because she felt the absence immediately. In that moment she would stop, repent for whatever had transpired and then almost immediately the glory would return to her. She called it, learning to live in the glory.
What I thought incredible is that sadly, most of us live in the reverse realm. I feel American Christians today are more commonly accustomed to living in the absence of the manifest presence of the Holy Spirit. That is when he moves within us to posture us in his presence, it is powerfully felt (praise the Lord) but also skeptically criticized because it is foreign. We second guess the experience. We think those who live in this Presence are crazy. But what would it be like, if we like Bilquis, lived in his presence continually and it was recognized and deeply felt when his presence left us?! (Now let me say here, we know God never leaves us nor forsakes us, but we can all identify with feeling distant from him due to sin in our lives- this is what I mean here.) I imagine then we would all work just as adamantly hard as she did to get back into his presence! Because as the Bible says, In thy presence is fullness of joy! And this is exactly what I learned through this woman’s story. It is possible . . . fullness of joy in his presence!
Did you know that it is possible to not sin?! It is. It is possible. Because the Bible says that sin is walking contrary to the Holy Spirit. The two can not possibly coexist. So then, when we are walking in communion with the Holy Spirit, then we are able to walk blamelessly with God. This is what Bilquis learned when the presence was replaced by absence- that she had sinned. After she repented in her heart the presence returned. This is learning to live in the glory; walking intimately with the Holy Spirit minute by minute so that we are atuned to his voice and his leading in order that we may walk down paths of righteousness and not sin. . . . Then all the people said, “Amen!” and praised the Lord. 1 Chronicles 16:36.
When all my endeavor is turned toward Thee because all Thy endeavor is turned toward me; when I look unto Thee alone with all my attention, nor ever turn aside the eyes of my mind, because Thou dost enfold me with Thy constant regard; when I direct my love toward Thee alone because Thou, who art Love’s self, hast turned Thee toward me alone. And what, Lord, is my life, save that embrace wherein Thy delightsome sweetness doth so lovingly enfold me.
-Nicholas of Cusa quoted from The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer
