I was such a brat today. This morning, you would think, was one of the worst mornings of my life, but when my eyes are properly fixed on Jesus; I can see that my trivial drama is no comparison for the true frustrations that plague this world every day and I am ashamed at my attitude, at how I acted- like a little kid whose mother tells her “no” in a candy store and she melts to the floor in a wailing heap as on-lookers gape and stare as redness climbs the nape of her mother’s neck in embarrassment. I was such a brat . . . yet God being rich in Mercy had Compassion . . . and a sense of humor. He was the type of Dad today that instead of getting embarrassed at his child’s outlandish behavior, he just stood and laughed at my out break of emotion until I decided to stop. Then he picked me up off the floor and carried me in his arms out of the candy store . . .
So I woke up disoriented. 4am for work. snooze. again. and again. and again. reset the dang thing. 5am. get up. fed Meischka. shower. strange thought . . . what if I don’t work today?! call the hospital. sure enough don’t have to work. sleep. what to do with my completely free day? set out for a long bike ride. CRAP! half way into it – today is the 14th! vaccinations for the World Race at 945am. it’s 9am! takes me 30 minutes to get there! will take me 30 just to get home at least! race to my grandmother’s house! thanks Bubbe for driving me the rest of the way home. have exactly 7 minutes to change, swipe on deodorant, spritzer the body spray, run sticky fingers through my unruly hair. out the door. BUT WAIT! my credit card and driver’s license are not in my wallet! WHERE COULD THEY BE?! THINK KRISTEN!? THINK! no house key on my key ring. must go around to the back to let myself in. tornado. i ransack my room. nothing. run outside to the car, ransack it. nothing. return to the house! DANG. locked the door. go around back. whirlwind. accidently shut my dog’s head in the door. flung it closed. didnt realize she was following behind me! SH**! cuddle Maggie. She is whining. run upstairs. LICENSE. CARD. WHERE ARE YOU?! NOTHING! grab cash from World Race fund. (will pay it back). run outside. get in car. scream. hit steering wheel! WHERE THE FRICK IS IT LORD?! SHOW ME PLEASE. pull out. at the stop sign. SCREEEEAAAAM. frustration. U turn. back at house. have to go around back. inside. one more look! NOTHING!!! GAH! WHERE IS IT! run to car. 10 minutes till appointment. 30 minute drive. scream. frustrated. hate being disorganized. hate feeling disoriented. hate being LATE! slamming fists on steering wheel. wracking my brain . . . WHERE DID I PUT THE STUPID THING! txt message. “I love you.” I cry. I realize I am being a brat. another txt message. “but as much as I love you. Christ loves you that much more!” I cry harder. Forgive me Lord for so much anger and frustration. appointment. 10 minutes late. typhoid not covered by insurance. typhoid vaccine and co-pay. $83. thumb through cash from WR. $81. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! call my dad. comes to pay for appointment- such a saint. apologize again for being late. RN reassures. no worries. we had a cancelation. lady with appointment after mine came early. Doc has already seen her. it all worked out. humbled. God working for my good even when such a brat! day significantly improves. worhship. repent. give thanks the whole way home. . . . fastforward. can’t find my license or card all day. even return to the gas station from previous night. last place I used it. nothing! writing paper checks all day. fastforward again . . . getting ready for a walk. i owe it to maggie. open my underwear drawer at the end of the day. my cardholder. my lisence. my credit card. HA! WHAT?! INSERIO?! MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER?! God is laughing at me. I join in.
“He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust!”
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust!”
Psalm 103: 9-14
Jesus thank you that when we are ridiculous you bring laughter. Thank you that you are in control and that you remember we are merely dust. You know we will mess up and get frustrated, the important thing is to regain perspective and we only do that by turning our eyes back to you and speaking your powerful name over each situation. each attitude. each circumstance. thank you for your steadfast love and mercy. thank you for your compassion. thank you for laughing at me when i am ridiculous and inviting me to join in.
i hope this lil mess of drama brought you a laugh also,
but taught as well, the importance of perspective and keeping our eyes on Christ!
but taught as well, the importance of perspective and keeping our eyes on Christ!
for those wondering- Maggie is doing fine. No concussion. She enjoyed her walk.
