The girls come from a town two hours away from Chiang Mai. They have the responsibility of helping their families financially. Their families are farmers. They work in the fields planting corn and growing beans. This is how the girls too, tried to make a living, but were not able to make a sustainable amount. So the girls, with their two older sisters left for the city. Sumalee (15) is the third youngest in a sibling group of 12. Kanya (13) is the third oldest of 7. Their sisters, ages 16 and 17 also work in the same bar on “bar street”.
They have lived in Chiang Mai for one year and only started working in the bar about three months ago. They were selling things at the market, but because of the meager living that provided and the far distance from their house, with the expensive transportation they were not able to continue with that. Then by word of mouth they heard there was good money to be earned by working in a bar. When they first started they thought the bars were just social places where people gathered to drink. It wasn’t until their first encounters with the men that they realized, there was no money to be earned by serving drinks.
The girls are not payed by the bar owners. If one of the girls sits with a man, gets him drinks, let’s him paw her and flirts a little, then maybe the man will give a big tip and then maybe the girls will receive a portion of that from the bar owner.
Otherwise, the girls only make money when they accept a customer’s offer to go back to his hotel room. The girls are treated like any working prostitute, the number and type of tricks along with the amount of time are all taken into consideration and a fee is settled upon. . . .
It is at this point in time when Julia Roberts’ lovable and charming character from Pretty Woman pops into my head,
“I get to decide! I get to decide who! I get to decide when! I get to decide WHO!”
. . . . Then I think back to my friends. There is very little about their situation that they get to choose, or maybe it is just that their choices look much different than mine did at age 13.
Me:
Should I spend the weekend with my grandparents? or
Do I stay at home and have friends sleep over?
Sumalee and Kanya:
Do I let this man, old enough to be my grandfather, touch me here and kiss me there so I can pay my rent? or do I run the risk of getting evicted?
Me:
Do I let my mum pack my lunch today? or
Do I buy the school lunch in the cafeteria?
Sumalee and Kanya:
Does my small body endure the searing pain of intercourse? or
Do I fight the constant ache of hunger?
Me:
Will it be the gray and purple flannel shirt with corduroys, or the green sweater with jeans that catches Charlie’s eye at Friday’s football game?
Sumalee and Kanya:
Do I wear the short shorts, high heels, and see-through tank top that would catch the Johns’ eyes? or Do I wear the long dress and flats, trying to slip into the background and pray they don’t notice me?
At lunch we talked about their dreams.
Kanya has completed the sixth grade; Sumalee, the ninth. Sumalee wants to work in tourism- a different kind of tourism than the industry she currently finds herself in. Kanya is all teenager! She wants to be a model. Both girls would rather be studying at school than working in the bar. Neither girl’s parents actually know how their daughters are earning the money that supports their families! They only know that they receive 6000 to 7000 Baht ($200-$250 USD) per month from the girls. Kanya’s mother told her, “Just continue to work and earn money for the family and then you can go back to school
. . . some day.“
We talked about their fears.
The girls are scared to tell their families how they earn money because of the shame that being a “bar girl” will bring on their families.
Kanya has only been having periods for a year.
“Do the men wear protection?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure they wear protection . . . always?”
the girls look down at their laps, “Well . . . not always sure.”
“Are you afraid of getting a disease?”
“Yes.”
“Of becoming pregnant?”
“Yes. We are.”
Again I can’t put myself in their shoes.
My fears at their age? . . . .
- That my friends would find out I had my periods and make fun of me.
- That no boys would ask me to school dances because I was taller than all of them.
- That my mum would ground me from talking on the phone if I got into trouble at school.
- That my poor hair would never grow back and that I had in fact, unintentionally committed social suicide by letting my mother cut my bangs.
And then we got to share our hearts with them. It was powerful. The Holy Spirit moved. Sumalee had shared that she wears a cross around her neck because it makes her think of God. Her older, married, sister is a Christian and Sumalee has heard many stories about Jesus and her sister has even taken her to church with her, but though she believes in God, she has not put her personal faith in Christ.
Then we got to share with them how we came to know Jesus and how he has moved in our lives. God led me to tell about our friendship; a real-tangible-conversational-friendship where I talk to God and I hear His voice; where God has been with me through thick and thin. He has never left me, but has waited patiently for me when I was trying so incredibly hard to run in the opposite direction of him.
He led me to share about His faithfulness towards me during the absolute darkest time of my life- losing my grandfather, disordered eating, promiscuity, and rape- and how in the midst of it all God spoke, “My delight is in YOU!” and that He says the very same thing about them!!
Lastly, most importantly, He led me to share how special they are to Him. I told them about the first night when Julie and I were walking down the street and praying over everyone on it. Of ALL the girls on that street, when we saw them and their sisters, God spoke directly to us and said,
“These are the girls I have chosen for you. Befriend them. Love them.
They are special to Me!”
Then we prayed over them and they excitedly proclaimed that they wanted to meet us for lunch again.
Right now, we are trying to get several things in place for these girls before we leave:
- a place for them to go. (I hear there are several homes that take in girls like them.)
- sponsors for their education and their families.
- medical care and contraceptives for them, so at least if they are not able to leave the industry now, we can ensure their safety.
please pray about how you can be a part of giving these girls a new hope and a new future.
***thanks again Erinne for the badges.
