4/2/2011
I look over at her. She is 26 years old. Practically my age. Her eyes are blood-shot and brimming with fat tears. Soon I realize my eyes are the same. I am listening to her story.
I came to Cambodia three years ago from Vietnam. I could find no other job so I sold my body for money. I became a sex worker. For two years I sold my body for money. But then I met a man and we married. Soon I became pregnant with his child. The pregnancy was complicated and I had to have C-section. My husband paid for it, but after our child was born, he left me. A new baby and no other way to support she and I; I began to sell my body again. But now I can no longer work. It is too painful from the complications of the surgery. I can no longer afford to keep my precious baby. My landlord offered me 1000 USD if I would sell her to him. I told him NO. I am afraid he only wants her so when she is older he can use her as a sex slave. Because I wouldn’t sell her to him, he said I could no longer live in the house I was renting from him. I have no where to go. I do not know what to do! Is it best to put my baby up for adoption so she can have a chance at a good future? Should I go back to Vietnam and work for my family? I feel so helpless. I love her, giving her up breaks my heart, but I can’t take her back to Vietnam, it would bring too much shame to my family.
26 years old faced with one horrific choice after another: go hungry, no, sell her body. sell her baby, no, be homeless. 1000 dollars; the price of a life in Cambodia . . . give the child up for adoption. . . . Ironically the child’s names means Optimism, or “making oneself think positively.”
But I don’t see it. Lord, give me the strength to be optimistic here. I can’t even begin to put myself in her shoes. Lord, she isn’t the only one who feels helpless here. What can I do for her? So many stories Lord, so much brokenness . . . I can’t get away from it this month. My heart hurts so much, I don’t know how much more I can take. It is all around. Where is the light in the dark place?
The Spirit of God welled up in me and I began to speak to her about the hope and love of Christ. I shared the gospel with her. Christ came to take away all of her shame. She did not need to carry that any longer. I claimed for her the promises of God: a hope and a future. I reassured her that God loves her and the baby and because of that, he WILL provide a way when there seems to be no way . . . I was speaking completely from faith because at the time, I could not see the way, nor give her any well-defined solution.
My team and I prayed for her.
I walked away with my heart in my stomach as the heaviness settled in my soul.
