My cozy little box requires me to do very little. I go to work on time, finish my school work with decent grades, check in on my friends and get to bed on time. I enjoy my quiet times and sometimes a movie and a bowl of cereal is all I need. Little things, like seeing a hummingbird up close or a clear view of the stars, fill my days with plenty of excitement. My cozy little box is safe and allows me to plan for my future with ease.
I’m sure you can guess where this is going. See, within my comfy, cozy, beautifully decorated box, I have this on-going relationship with Jesus where He provides, heals and restores me, daily. However, I don’t think He created me for simple box, easy-peasy, living where I do nothing but my make sure my needs are met daily. I’m not sure He created anyone for that.
Recently, God turned my box upside-down and I’ve had no choice but to say, “Yes, LORD.” But perhaps I’ll start at the beginning and give you the full roller-coaster account.
I felt God nudging me toward this thing called the WorldRace about two years ago, while I was still a missionary in Northern Ireland. I applied and was accepted. Yet, as I continued to pray about it more and more(and had my close friends, family and pastors pray about it) everyone seemed to be getting the same message, “not yet.” So I obeyed and didn’t go, and moved back to Arizona where God had me grow some more. I didn’t really understand why God would tell me to “go”, but tell me “not yet”. It didn’t make sense and really tested my trust in Jesus and His plan for my life.
Up until recently, I didn’t think about the WorldRace. I sort of put it behind me and moved on with life, knowing that when my season of “not yet” was over, God would let me know. I moved out of my parents house, moved in with an amazing roommate, started a job that eventually took me back to school, made some unforgettable friends and learned that the same Jesus who intercedes for me at the right hand of God is constantly holding me through the Holy Spirit, keeping me afloat down this thing called life.
This past December I stumbled across the WorldRace and, yet again, felt that familiar God-nudge. I prayed and prayed about what this could mean, after all, I made plans for this year: moving into a house with my best friends, finally buying that car I have been saving for, completing school, etc. Only, none of those things even matter when compared to Jesus, the Gospel. After I prayed about it, I heard from God and it was a crystal-clear, very peaceful, “go”. So what did I do?
I pulled a Gideon.
I carefully laid out my fleece time and time again, asking for God to confirm what I knew He was asking me to. Each time He confirmed it, I asked for another sign, and then another…and then another. I needed to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was calling me to this.
It turns out I heard correctly the first time.
What it came down to was…was I willing to leave everything and walk in faith?
I had to say yes. I had to obey.
In the end, nothing else matters but Jesus. My box doesn’t matter. My worldly comfort doesn’t matter. My carefully thought out plan for this year doesn’t matter. What matters is Jesus. My church has this underlining theme that not many people say verbally but actually shout through actions, and that is to make His name FAMOUS.
Sometimes I get so caught up in myself that I forget that I my kingdom is very different than God’s Kingdom. I need to be making His name famous, advancing His Kingdom or else what on earth am I even doing?
Sure, I could still be advancing His Kingdom and making His name famous here in Arizona, but my current reality is that God has called me to “go”.
I have one identity and that is that I am a child of the King. I belong to Him. He loves me more than I can ever understand. I trust Him.
So, I applied again and was accepted two weeks ago. God is so good and He’s been holding my hand as I walk this shaky walk of faith toward this crazy big unknown. But, you know what, God is so much BIGGER. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, or what September will hold, but I know the One who made it all. He’s got my back.
So good-bye, little cozy box.
Hello, walk of faith toward Jesus.
