ATTENTION: DO NOT GIVE TO THIS ACCOUNT. THIS MONEY WILL NOT GO TO ME. I AM NO LONGER WITH ADVENTURES.
I have been in Thailand on my own for a week already and so much within me has changed!!!
I am freer, I am joyful, I use my voice, I fight for unity, I love better, I am more disciplined, and I am running,. I am becoming more myself but different. I didn’t go on the Race to stay the same, I wanted to change and grow and I did while on the Race and I am still growing now and praying that I will continue to be shaped more into the image of Jesus.
Looking back on the 6 months I had with the World Race was the hardest yet best thing I could have ever done. One because I ended up in Thailand and two because I learned things about God, about others and myself that I may have never of learned by staying home.
Before leaving for on the World Race my team was a safe haven for me. The more I talked with them the more excited I became about the World Race and our time together. Then things quickly started to change.
I knew that there was a wicked side about me, but I didn’t know how wicked until I came on the Race. For the first few months I was the crappiest lover, often with a terrible attitude and probably one of the worst teammate anyone could have asked for.
By the time launch came I was not pleased or thrilled about the Race. I had spent almost a year preparing for it but had become so tired of it and had yet to launch. In a way I was ready for the race to be over before I launched so I could be done with it and move on. However the more time I spent with my team the more excited I became I excited for what God had planned.
After month one on the field I was still fighting where God was taking me and I had yet to accept that the Race; which is strange because I had dreamed about it for years. I wondered if God ‘called’ me to go on the World Race or it was more of my own doing. Maybe it wasn’t the Race itself, maybe it was more accepting the life I was leaving behind that I wasn’t okay with. Or maybe it was the sacrifices it took to come on the Race that I had yet to come to terms with. Or maybe it was the fear of what God was going to do within me and ‘my future plans’ while on the Race wasn’t ready for. But regardless of what it was I was fighting with all that I had to not accept the Race.
I then took most of those feelings out on my team as if it were their fault that God ‘made me’ come on the Race. I ended up withdrawing, trying to deal with it all on my own rather. I became mad, or quick tempered when they didn’t understand but I hadn’t given them a chance to understand because I didn’t share what was going on wouldn’t allow them to come alongside me to help and encourage me.
Finally there was a point while on the Race I surrendered and stopped fighting. When I realized that letting go was a lot easier than resisting. I decided to act on what I knew in my head was true that God knows what is best for me, his ways are greater then mine, and regardless of whether the Race was more my doing and will nothing can thwart the plans of the Sovereign God. These were beliefs I knew but clearly didn’t because my actions hadn’t said so up until that point. So I surrendered, stopped fighting and started accepting the Race and what God was doing. I felt relieved and that month on the field had been the best so far!
Then came team changes…..
Click the link below to read Part Two… I am switching over to my old blog.
NOTE: DO NOT GIVE TO THIS ACCOUNT IT WILL NOT GO TO ME. I AM NO LONGER ON THE RACE. If you feel led to give I am still in need of some financial assistance you can email me at [email protected].
