"Why are you afraid, you who have little faith?" – Matthew 8:26
"You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:31
Everybody walks by faith whether you would like to admit it or not.
Sometimes life requires you to commit without total certainty. Kevin Queen at 12Stone church said “if you are waiting for total certainty before you make total commitment you won’t experience some of the best things in life."
When I started doubting why God was having me go on the race I asked thousands of times why the world race, 'why do I have to leave the ones I love for 11 months', 'what is it that you can’t teach me here at home?' And being the kind and gracious Father that he is, he gently disclosed four things…
- Unshakable faith to the One who is faithful
- Undeniable trust
- A definition of beauty defined by Him
- An identity wrapped up in Him alone
Whoop there is it. I was left speechless. I couldn’t really argue with God on this one.
Yet some of ya’ll could be wondering or questioning why would I break up with this awesome dude for an idea at the time. Good question… I don’t have the best answer. He was worthy to give up my idea of the World Race. When I went back to him I had applied for The World Race but I was ready to give up the World Race. God closed the door. But like I said in my last post the “heart of man plans his way, the Lord establishes his steps”. Ultimately it is God who directs our steps and he reserves the right to change our plans. My plan changed. Yes, I was disappointed.
At first the disappointment that I felt lead to questioning and doubt. But, I serve a God who met me in my brokenness with comfort, grace, love and who is in the business of redemption. He revealed himself to me and though that I landed on these truths:
- God can do incredibly more than I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)
- He has a plan for me, his plans for me are engraved on his hands (Isaiah 49:16)
- His thoughts and way are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9, Romans 9:19-21)
- He teaches me and directs what is best for me (Isaiah 48:17-18; Psalm 32:8)
Redemption came as my disappointment led to praise, worship, deeper trust, and greater faith.
So God revealed what I needed to learn and what lies I had been believing and I couldn’t deny it.
On August 24th 2012, a day after my birthday I got a phone call from AIM saying I had been accepted to go on the race.
So with knees shaking, heart pounding I jumped. I jumped not with full assurance but with an ounce of faith clinging to the truths God had recently revealed.
Faith begins with belief and beliefs are the mental road maps in which you perceive the world. I had been believing some lies and putting most of my faith and trust in everything but God. My faith is still little but it has been growing.
I find myself still waiting for 100% certainty before 100% committing to the World Race. Certainty of the life I have dreamed of for so many years and for certainty of the relationship between friendships and families that I have been blessed to be a part of. However, I am still recognizing this life is not my own. When I committed my life to Christ I entered a covenant bond, I vowed my life to HIm, my life is now for His life. God is behind that covenant bond and he gave me his spirit and He is my guide.
“Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you” – Psalm 63:3
So without total certainty I am committed to being on the world race however long God will have me (and things still align biblically). I need your help. Today is one year since I found out I was accepted for the race. I am still in need of financial support. Please pray and see if the Lord would have you get behind what he is doing in my life. It if is through a financial donation please click the ‘support me please’ link on the left side. To make donating more fun you can donate using any of these numbers in any order…
- 8/23/1989 my birthday
- 8/24/2012 one year since I have been accepted on the race
For example: $48.00 or $23.00 or $183 however you want!! Pray, make it your own and have fun with it!!!
THANK YOU!!!!!!
