written on 7/7
It is time that I face reality… and to be quiet honest it kind of sucks.
You may be asking how can it suck, thinking “you are about to go on an adventure of your life”, or “this is a once and a life time opportunity”.
While this is true and I am so thankful that after almost a year of knowing I have been accepted the time is here and tomorrow I fly out to Albania!!!
The time is also here to say goodbye or see you later.
Fact saying goodbye to my friends and family was complete torture!!!! No better way of explaining it…. I cried like a baby multiple times. The past week with my family I kept saying this is the last time we will do this and that… it probably got annoying but I soaked up every moment I could with them and loved all of it!!
Honestly for future racers there is no way I can think of on how to prepare yourself for the moment you say see you later to your friends and family, and goodbye to the life that you know it. I have known for a year that I was going on the race and distancing yourself before you leave does no good, I tried that. You are doing harm and robbing others and yourself from being in the moment and part of the church.
What sucks in saying goodbye or see you later is you’re practically trading out families. You are going from people whom you love, accept, do life with, understand etc….and people who know love you, accept, approve and understand you to a “soon to be family” that doesn’t understand you, we are still figuring out if we like each other.
11 months from now I will probably be saying the opposite. In going home 11 months from now I will probably fear not being understood by my friends and family who once understood me, yet what is so comforting and promising is I have a wonderful family who always loves and will be waiting with open arms! Oh the thought of not being able to hug my family for a year brings tears to my eyes.
I am hoping that excitement will hit as I am boarding the plane. I know that the past few days haven’t fully sucked.
I have enjoyed worship, getting to know my team a little better, having ice cream with my family and lunch the next day with my family and team, and going on a walk with no particular destination and ending up at a nursing home!! Oh the joy that those things brought to my heart!
This month’s ministry is with the whole squad (55 people) in Albania working at a summer camp from kids of all ages! Very interested in seeing how this all works out.
little add in…. after being gone for 5 days I am already missing home, my family, little Layla, the kids and families that I have nannyed for, and my friends!!!
financial update: I am at 6,700 dollars. I am at where I need to be at for now. I will keep you all updated as the time comes for the next deadline and where my heart is! Thank you friends for being so supportive!
