Freedom is a funny word. In America, we live in “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” But I bet the majority of Americans are not actually free. They are slaves to their office jobs, slaves to abusive relationships, slaves to their choices, slaves to disease, slaves to pay checks, slaves to perfection, slaves to fears, and slaves to so much more.
What are you a slave to? Think about it for a moment.
I am a slave to control. Correction: I was a slave to control. I am no longer. I have found true, glorious, God-given freedom.
“Just stand back, watch my God do the impossible, the impossible, everything is possible, with him everything is possible…” Impossible | Sidewalk Prophets
It all started last month in a children’s village outside of Durban, South Africa. My teammate Abbie gave me the word “box”; she has had this word for me since Romania. A few evenings later, we were up late talking and she explained what she understood of the word:
I put God in a box. I give him no control in my life over anything even though I say I do. I want to control everything; I always have. I plan, I color-code, I make list after list, I ask questions. I need to know what is going on and what the plan is. I need the control and I do not want to give God an ounce of it. I restrict him and limit him, and for what? So I can live my life stressed and worried about every detail of everything?
The first step to anything is recognition. I never realized I let control actually control my life. I never realized all the different ways I sought control over my life. I never realized I was lying to God when I said I gave him control.
“He said come to the table, come join the sinners who have been redeemed, take your place beside the savior, sit down and be set free, come to the table…” Come to the Table | Sidewalk Prophets
I spent a handful of days journaling about this, asking tough questions, and seeking counsel from the Lord.
“The unknown feels like a game of minesweep with a blindfold on. One wrong step causes a bomb to explode. It’s a mess just waiting to happen. If I reach out a hand for help, who would come? Would my teammates? Would my close friends from home? Would my family? Would the squad? Would the Lord? Can I really put a blindfold on, reach out my hand for guidance, and just trust as I cross a mine field? Can I really give up control and break down the stubborn cardboard box?” – journal, Feb 7
Several things happened in quick succession after this.
1. The church we partnered with in Durban has a band, 24 Skies. We went to their concert one evening and they had everyone stand quietly asking the Lord to reveal something. I got the phrase, “you can have freedom.”
2. When we arrived in Nsoko, Swaziland, our hosts sat us down for an orientation. While Charity spoke, I was looking at the cracks in the cement and I just kept getting the phrase, “what if this is the place I find freedom?”
3. The following night we did an all-squad worship session. While Abbie and Catherine were singing ‘Nothing I Hold Onto’, I just kept getting the phrase, “I’m going to get freedom this month.”
Again I journaled, asked tough questions, and sought counsel from the Lord.
“What if this is the place I find freedom? What if this is the last place I struggle with putting God in a box with control? What if I leave this place with complete freedom? Who will I be then? What will life look like with the stubborn cardboard box broken down and collapsed, with the veil ripped away, with fresh eyes?” – journal, Feb 28
Each day, I have to choose to give Him all the control. I choose to ask less questions when I realize I do not need to know the answers. I choose to not let control have control of my life. I choose freedom.
Surprisingly, it has not been as hard as I thought it would be to give God all the control. Some days are harder than others, but overall, life is so much easier when He is in control and I am not.
Galatians 5:1 says “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
Have you thought about it? What are you currently a slave to? How can you give it to God and find true freedom?
