Bandile Sibandze. A ten year old boy that captured my heart with the first smile. I
had the priviledge and honor to spend the whole month of August with him. It was filled with memories that will never be forgotten or remembered lightly.
Back to our first designated buddy time together. Discouragement and frustration flooded my mind. He was acting out, striving for attention, and pulled a few dangerous stunts to see my reaction. And he got it. I let my worry take over and he thoroughly enjoyed making me cringe. That first day was long- very long. I spent the two hours chasing him around in fear that he would fall or cut his mouth on the glass he was attempting to chew. He wouldn’t talk to me, let alone look at me. All in all it was quite the delightful day.
The next 24 days, however, were much different. I prayed with a squadmate before our second time together and that is where the turning point began. We set up a hammock as life and joy overflowed from his presence. It was this day I realized how incredibly funny he is. Little jokes, bear hugs, and our secret handshake wove our new friendship. I coined his new nickname, monkey, that he owned and loved. We were seen by everyone as having something special. We read the Bible together, listened to Dum Dum by Lecrae on repeat, and played card games for days. Literally, I think he could play for days.
Maternal instincts surfaced on worship night with the entire squad of 54 people and the 50 children. With eyes closed and hands in the air I asked for the Lord’s protection over his life. Rubbing his eyes and sleepily walking across the dark sanctuary I saw him coming towards me. He climbed into my lap, leaned on my shoulders, and began to fall asleep. I was his safe haven where he found peace and rest. And I was safe with him. After the service, I carried him back to his room as he slept soundly. I prayed he would pursue God with his whole heart, love like Jesus does, and be a disciple that makes disciples.
I was told that the children at El Shaddai are calloused towards world racers because they see us consistently and frequently get new buddies. Bandile was not one of those kids.
He loves deeply and he loves me deeply. There was a pizza party on our last night with some of the most interesting pizza I have ever tasted. Toppings like cauliflower and anything else we could find brought a whole new meaning to the word supreme. I desperately held on to every second we spent together praying that tomorrow would never come. We walked, a little slower than usual, back to his room as kiddie bedtime rapidly approached. He was pouting. A sad pout. The kind that makes you scoop them into your arms and whisper “I love you.” Those three words are hard for him to say, hard for him to hear, and even harder for him to understand. But I do. And I always will. I pray he knows and feels that. Tears of joy and sadness streamed down my sunburned cheeks as I said goodnight for the seventeenth time. To be quite vulnerable, it was one of the most painful goodnights. Thankfulness and sorrow competed for attention and sorrow won.
Bandile showed me how to dance without apology. How to light up a room with a contagious smile with an even more contagious laugh to follow. How to make simple moments last. How to have unspeakable joy. And how to love fervently and unconditionally. He is in a unique place in my forever heart never to be replaced.
