After being home a few weeks now, I have had thoughts coming in and out of my mind on what I would write in regards to my experience at training camp. Finally, I have poured myself a bowl of stale cheerios, re-read my journal and am ready to go! I am convinced that things always turn out better with a bowl of cheerios. (Don’t get your hopes up, this will not be the world’s most inspiring blog post.)
I could write pages upon pages on the crazy sleeping situations, not so tasty food, sore muscles and lack of sleep. For the sake of me not getting carpel tunnel, I will attempt to summarize the best that I can.
Days leading up to camp I had nightmares almost every night. You know those dreams when you are the most horrible server? Or you have gone to class naked? Maybe someone is beating you up and you cannot physically move no matter how hard you try? Well, my nightmares weren’t THAT bad–they basically consisted of me walking into an airport and feeling like a total loser. There sat everyone who was waiting to be picked up for training camp. No one talked to me, I sat awkwardly and in tears.
I had fears about who would be on my squad, if they would like me, if I would connect etc. Surely enough, everyone else had those same fears as well. Getting to the airport and joining some of the girls on my squad near the IHOP express was one of the most relieving moments. Everyone was there with a welcoming smile. I sat trying to learn names and asking a myriad of questions. I felt like I had known these people forever.
Camp itself was a week of crushed expectations, discomfort and exhaustion. Every kind of exhaustion one could feel– emotional, physical, mental. If I am being totally honest there were days when all I wanted to do was throw in the towel and go home. Maybe this whole World Race thing wasn’t for me after all. Much of the week I beat myself up feeling like I wasn’t doing something right–I wasn’t feeling God the way other people were. Then I came a beautiful realization…God speaks to me in a whisper. I sometimes wish I had these mystical visions or hear God audibly. I don’t. I felt Him most when I would sit outside in nature, tune out everyone around me in worship, or even just a small remark from a leader or friend.
I was incredibly humbled during training camp. I learned that I can worry about any situation, but in the end God’s way truly is better than mine. Kelly (one of my awesome teammates) told me the first day, “It is a really admirable trait when you learn to be content wherever you are.” Camp was the worst but also the best week of my life.
Now for the fun stuff! All week, my biggest fear was who I would be on a team with. These would be the people I was literally with 24/7 for 9 months. “An all girls team?! NO WAY!” That was the response many would admit to saying at even the thought of an all girls team. For whatever reason, I had such peace when I thought of being on an all girls team and even potentially leading one. When put together for a team building exercise we worked so well together. No one was easily stressed, everyone listened well and we are all so different. That is the most beautiful part. Now I am not crazy enough to think that we will never argue and that we will live in peace the entire 9 months. I do know one thing though, these ladies have already taught me so much about myself and what it means to be a servant and to love.
Allow me to introduce team Selah. Selah is a Hebrew word meaning to pause, lift up and praise. As a team we hope to be women who pause before speaking, praise and lift up not only God but one another. The last day of camp I wrote in my journal things that I admire about these ladies.
Grace: Gentle, quiet soul, great listener
Kelly: Wise, funky/fun spirit, not easily angered
Alissa: Honest heart, giving, passionate
Cami: Great sense of humor, very chill, very real (authentic)
Abigail: Go with the flow, laid back, fun, easy to get along with
(From left to right) Me, Alissa, Cami, Abigail, Kelly, Grace
We found out that we will be traveling to the Philippines, Swaziland, and Nicaragua.
I am SO CLOSE to being fully funded. I have a little less than three weeks left and only need $700. Please pray about and consider helping me get there. Any bit helps.
Thank you so much for continued love, prayer and support.
With so much love,
Kristen
