Does anyone else face the annoyance that comes with shuffle? You sit and hit next next next next next, and begin wondering why you didn’t just make a playlist of songs that you know you want to listen to and press play. Well as I’m riding the bus to a town to grab some coffee for the afternoon, I had the dreaded bad shuffle experience. FINALLY, I stopped on the song “The Fear” by Ben Howard. *side note- if you haven’t heard his stuff, you should. Dude is crazy talented.
In the chorus of the song Howard sings “I’ve been worrying that we all live our life in the confines of fear.” I’ve heard this song tons of times, but today I felt the lord speak to me through this song. I am a firm believer that the Lord speaks to us through a number of different avenues. Sometimes through secular music just as much as “Christian music”. Sometimes through non believers just as much as believers. Heck he spoke to Moses trough a burning bush. This line got me thinking about fear. Fear is a crummy thing. I pray against it, I know all of the Bible verses about how I shouldn’t fear and yet at times my life is dictated by this very word. How many times have you had a crazy dream or idea in life, yet never pursued it because you were scared? Or maybe to the world it just doesn’t “make sense”. I will never forget the quote I heard from a friend, “If your dreams don’t scare you, chances are they are insulting to God.” Now, hear me out. This doesn’t mean you have to have some mind blowing plan, want to travel the world or adopt 60 orphans. People are all designed differently. Maybe you want to pursue a career in nursing or teaching, but you are scared that you won’t make it through college. That you won’t have the money. That you won’t find a job after you graduate. The list goes on and on. Maybe you want to make it big as a musician, but because there are “thousands of other people out there chasing the same dream” you settle for a job you don’t love. All of these choices being based out of a place of fear–a place of safety.
For me, it was difficult. I had big dreams but I always looked to others that made that dream come true and envied them instead of actually believing it could happen to me. Why? Because I was scared. As of right now, I don’t plan to go back to college (sorry mom and dad). I have completed 3 years and could easily go back and get a degree. I’d be a rich woman if I got a dollar for every time someone told me “you need a degree”, “you will never get a job this day and age without one”, “it’s only one more year…you need to finish college”. I respect and appreciate the concern, but my heart isn’t there. My dream you ask? My plan? My dream is to open a coffee shop where community is top priority. I want to cultivate an atmosphere of authenticity, intentionality, safety and love. Over a year ago, God gave me a vision for this shop. I remember looking around at the artwork, people laughing, and as I walked outside I looked up at the name of my shop. “The Well”. Why “The Well” I asked God? He then brought me to the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus approached this woman and after some conversation he said, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” I want someone to walk into The Well and feel acceptance. I want the gospel to be sensed and proclaimed here. Would it be easier for this dream to be achieved with a business degree? Probably. But God has taught me a little thing about faith through these past 9 months. I don’t want to let fear rule my life. Faith seems far more life-giving. God’s hand must be in it, and I know that whenever the timing is right He will make this dream a reality. Until then, I’m taking it day by day and seeing where the Lord leads. I don’t have much of a plan, and surprisingly it is very freeing.
If I listened to fear, I wouldn’t be sitting in a coffee shop in Nicaragua. So you, yes YOU, reading this right now…God has a way bigger dream for your life. Satan has a way of letting our fears dictate our every decision. Well, tell him to step aside because God wants to do something with you. Don’t live in the confines of fear. If you fail, you fail. At least you won’t wonder “what if”.
