I can remember the exact moment. The moment when I saw the intimidating reality that I owed $6,000 in roughly 6 weeks. I ignored the $12,000 total because quite frankly I didn’t know if it was even possible to raise half in that short of time. I heard the “You’ve got it!” “Give it to God” “He will provide, just be patient”—the list goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong, it was great…It IS great. Constant encouragement and support from loved ones, but in my heart I wasn’t fully convinced. I would sit in class distracted by the dark money cloud looming over my head desperately waiting for it to pour.
I have never been good at accepting gifts. One of my top love languages is gift giving, so I guess it is slightly ironic that I don’t know how to accept them. Asking people for things (especially money) has always seemed rude or uncomfortable to me. I am still working at this.
The thing the Lord has taught me the most so far is what grace looks like. Grace is one of those common Christian phrases that nonbelievers make fun of us for saying too much—I call these words “Christianese”. Grace can be defined as “the free love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it”. With every check in the mail or new donation I have received, I have come face to face with this grace—people giving me a free gift that they are sacrificing in order to provide for me. Sounds a whole lot like Jesus, huh?
I am overwhelmed with excitement to share that I am only $160 short of my 50% Friday deadline. Thank you doesn’t come close to expressing my gratitude to those who have supported me whether that is financially or in prayer. The glass is half full and I am confident that my cup will be overflowing by September.
I have experienced God as Father, friend, comforter and more. My eyes have now opened to truly see Him as provider.
With so much love,
Kristen
