“You must GO!” I heard Gods voice clear as day.
“Go where?!” I asked God…I was tired from the travel day before with leaving Guatemala and arriving in Honduras 22 hours later on a bus trip that was only suppose to be 9 hours long.
But with an obedient heart I simply replied to Him, “Okay God whatever is planned for today I will go and do it with full trust that You want me to be there.”
That morning one of my squad mates announced that later on that day she would be taking a hike up a mountain to a beautiful waterfall. Without hesitation I just knew that was where God wanted me to go.
As I walked up the mountain with a few other squad mates of mine, I heard God’s voice once again…this time clearer and louder than before… he spoke, “Kristen today is the day I want you to be baptized.” I was very confused at this statement because as a catholic I was baptized already when I was a baby, so to be baptized again seemed redundant and completely made me uncomfortable so I began to have a conversation with God in my head. Again he told me to be baptized and reminded me of the dream I had the night before when I told God I wanted ALL of him, that I was All-in and nothing was going to hold me back from His everlasting grace and goodness. As details from my dream started to resonate with reality…I just knew there was no turning back in that moment…so with God as my guide I kept pushing on toward the waterfall.
“And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” -Acts 2:38
When I finally reached it….it was absolutely breath taking. I was in awe of God’s beauty and before I knew it these words began to flow from my lips, “I am ready to be baptized, I’m ready to be completely His, I’m ready to die to myself in order to live for Christ, I’m ready to truly become the woman God created me to be all along and to not just say the pretty words Christians say, but to actually live by them and accept the Father, Son and the HOLY SPIRIT into my life forever.”
So there I stood 22 years old on February 3, 2014…in a magnificent waterfall in Honduras, 2 months into my World Race journey and ready to begin the rest of my life.
As I was completely submerged underwater I felt what I can only describe as fire starting from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. It was such an amazing feeling because for the first time in my life I was ALIVE.
“With water I baptize those who repent of their sins; but someone else is coming, far greater than I am, so great that I am not worthy to carry his shoes! He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with FIRE.” –Matthew 3:11
I’m not just living anymore, but I am fully ALIVE in HIM.
The moments after…I felt as though I was free and that I no longer had to DO anything to earn God’s love or grace, all I had to do was accept the gift He has already offered to each of us by shedding His blood on the cross.
“I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be stilled. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I am finished and done with smooth knees, colorless dreams, low living, sight walking, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheaply giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now walk by faith, lean in His presence, live by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven. My road narrow, my way rough, my companions are few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I can not be bought, deterred, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I will not give up, shut up, let up until I have stayed up, stored up, paid up, prayed up, preached up the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, preach until all know, and work until He stops me. And in the end, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.”
This is a beautiful poem one of my teammates shared with me written by an African missionary before he died. It is a beautiful reminder of the way I want to not only live out the rest of this year on my World Race journey, but I want to live this way for the rest of my life and I encourage you to read these words and truly let them resonate with your heart. It’s amazing the things Gods wants YOU to experience when you are OBEDIENT to His callings and TRUST to let Him guide your paths throughout life.
