So much of Evan’s story resonates with my life and the things i thought I’ve always wanted. When i saw this video more than a year ago, I was living in my car, wondering how much farther down I would have to fall for God to speak to me. Where was He taking me? I prayed for Him to remove everything from my life that wasn’t for me, to clear a path, I would let it all go. So as I sat there alone, in the emptiness, I felt around my heart and felt that i had given everything. So where is this clear path? Where is my answer God? What else do you want, you have taken everything! I gave it all up! I am at the bottom, isn’t this where i see you most clearly? I listened for hours in the darkness. At times i felt overcome by loneliness. Instead of feeling like it was finally just me and God, I felt abandoned. Lies circled in my head. I found myself questioning miraculously whether i have been deceived that God is there at all. It was in the deepest depths of despair that I cried out, “Thank you Lord.” Through shaking sobs i repeated “It is well, It is well.” Old sickness of anxiety and depression ripped at my throat, tore into my chest making it heavy and hard to breathe. A song played in my heart,and i choked out the words. “Though you slay me, yet i will praise you. Though you take from me, i will bless your name. though you ruin me, still i will worship, and sing a song to the one who’s all i need.” verse by verse I became calm. I told God i knew He was there, however silent, and that i could keep fighting and press on a little longer. The next day, i stopped by a coffee shop near where i had parked my car for sleep the night before. I wanted to change clothes in their restroom, have some cold water, and smell coffee for a while. When i left the restroom, Taylor Edds happened to be there on her laptop. She gave me words of encouragement and made me feel like less of an outsider, and told me that she knew that God had a plan. After she left i pulled out my own laptop.I felt something stirring deep deep inside my spirit, an anxious excitement like i was teetering over the edge of a cliff. I opened my browser, and Im not sure how i was lead to even think of typing in “adventures in missions” but before i knew it i was staring at the World Race. I watched the video of Evans story, and my heart beat so fast it was like i was running a marathon where God was at the finish line, beckoning me closer with a big smile on His face. My eyes were full of tears. I felt for the first time in months God’s presence drowning out every molecule surrounding my body. I felt Him comforting my very soul, saying “Here I am, This way my child.” what was probably just seconds felt like hours that I was directly in communion with Him. This was the plan, this is where i was going, and i am good enough to my Abba. He wants to send me. I have never been so sure of anything in my life. And never have i felt so beloved by Him, that He would call me to this. Every bad thing that has ever happened in my life, every hurt and pain and suffering, every thing i have had to lose, has built a testimony of God’s unending love for His daughter, and His Glory. I am grateful for all i have suffered, because I am blessed and given the unique and very special oppurtunity to go to any end of the Earth that God calls and bring that story of God’s glory to people everywhere who have never known that they are so dearly loved. It is beautiful, God’s love for me, and I want to be His love to others. That’s why I am a racer.
