This is a long one, and I kind of ramble, but I hope y’all enjoy reading it! 
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of camping and spending time with 6 amazing ladies on my squad. It was so refreshing getting to talk with these women about what brought them to the race, what their fears are, and then just simply getting to know their hearts. During this camping trip we also got a very, very small taste of the race. We camped outside, in the woods, without modern amenities. I pitched my tent (I did have some assistance just so no one got hit in the face), didn’t quite get my sleeping pad blown up all the way (or at all… never trust “self-inflating”), and cooked food over a open fire (ok, I may have had help with that too). During the camping trip I started to become more aware of God’s pull to draw me out of my comfort zone. I’ve thought about the little things like not being ready to go home after a week of summer camp when I was younger, or jumping off a big ole rock into the river during our camping trip (I’ll be honest… I was TERRIFIED and the water was like ice, but it was great!), and then big things like moving to Joplin, Missouri for college and traveling to Cambodia and now the race. I’ve been reflecting a lot on God’s purpose for my life, and while I can’t see the big picture yet I know that He is preparing me for big things, aside from the race, which is scary and so exciting! I keep reminding myself that I am a vessel.
During the camping trip, we were all talking about our fears and things that will just be uncomfortable on the race, and one of my lovely squadmates said that she felt like by agreeing to follow and serve God we are called to be fearless. I had never really thought about it that way, but she was kind of right. I believe that through our freedom in Christ we are able to be fearless when we walk in faith and pursue God’s call for us. I’m not sure if that was exactly what she meant, but that’s how I see it. I have had a number of people tell be that I am “brave” or agree I that must indeed be “fearless” for embarking on this adventure or I hear “I could never do that” when I explain the race, but I don’t feel “brave” or “fearless”. When people say those things to me I think “Really? If I can do it surely anyone can!” I mean half the time I’m afraid of the dark (I know, I know, I’m nearly 25, but it’s true. It is what it is), I am paranoid about getting attacked by a rabid animal (or someone’s mean looking dog…), getting mugged in the parking lot at Kroger, and so on. I know some of the paranoia could be justified considering the world that we live in, but I still don’t feel “brave” or “fearless” or even “adventurous” really. This is a girl who was literally shaking about jumping off a rock into the river, and nearly had a panic attack about riding the SkyLift at Stone Mountain (I did, however, totally conquer these fears! there are witnesses). Let me try to wrap this up for y’all… what God has been teaching me is that I can be fearless, because He’s got this. Am I gonna have moments where fear starts to seep in? Absolutely! But I just breathe in and trust in the God who has already saved me. Conquering past fears is difficult, but so rewarding! I am more excited (and still a little nervous) about the challenges and adventures next year is going to bring.
Thanks for hanging in there with me!
Kourtney
On our way to breakfast after camping
Stone Mountain Collage: top on Stone Mountain, Chaco Pic on top of the Mountain, the Face of the Mountain from the bottom.
