When I signed up for the World Race, I did not expect it to be easy, but I also did not expect it to be the most difficult time of my life. This month started out great, I fell in love with Macedonia, the children, and the culture, I was drawing nearer to the Lord and hearing His voice clear as day, which gets tough back home where I am busy all the time. This last week, although just three weeks in to an 11 month journey, has definitely been one of the hardest times I have encountered in life.
I am not going to get into the nitty gritty details, but I do want to share what I have learned these past few days through the trials.
1. The Lord sometimes gives you a very clear picture in your head of His plans. It may be plans for your life, somebody else’s life, an idea to reach the lost, etc. Those plans may not always come to pass, and it is not always your fault. Sometimes, although you are obedient, an outside party that was supposed to partner with you may not answer the call and as result, God’s plan does not unfold. As long as you were obedient, there is not much else you can do but pray, keep a joyful spirit, and continue looking for direction from the Lord.
2. The enemy loves to see division among us. He will use anything he can to get us upset, hurt, or angry with each other. Those emotions aren’t bad, don’t get me wrong, but when they cause a split in community or friendship, we let Satan win.
3. There are times when you are being yourself but others may not understand you or be used to your type of behavior. It’s not always a negative thing, but it can escalate very quickly into a bad situation if not handled the correct way. Regardless of how others perceive you, unless they are giving you constructive feed back on how to grow (a whole different topic, see #5), do not let their misinterpretations make you feel like you are doing something wrong or need to change.
4. Crying is not something to apologize for, but something to embrace. It really is okay to cry. Society has told us that crying shows weakness, and where that started, I have no clue, but it is not true. Crying allows us to get out frustrations or hurts, which is necessary to live a healthy lifestyle without baggage. It allows us to show happiness or understanding to someone elses situation. There are so many reasons to cry, and all of them, no matter how small or silly they seem, are okay.
5. When you receive constructive feedback or criticism, do not be so quick to get offended. It’s not always easy to hear that you are doing something wrong and it may be hard to see where others are coming from, but embrace it, and really put thought into what they are telling you. It’s easier, sometimes, to notice things from the outside looking in, which allows others to see things about ourselves more clearly than we do. It does not mean you have to end up following what they advised, but keeping a joyful spirit through it and putting it into consideration helps you grow.
6. Before anything else, bring it to God. Give Him your joy, your hurts, your thoughts, your frustrations, your confusion, and your anger. At home, it is way too easy to pick up the phone and call my parents to ask for guidance or to vent. Here, I get wifi for a couple hours every couple of days. It gets tough not being able to vent to my parents right away, but now I am bringing everything to The Lord first and what a difference it makes! He brings me peace when I am mad, celebrates my joyfulness, comforts me with peace and gives me joy when I am hurting, and guides me when I am confused, whereas back home, although my parents are great, I would often stay upset after venting, or confused after listening to their thoughts/opinions for my life. It truly is a luxury to have little contact with my loved ones back home.
Just three weeks in and I am growing tremendously. Although it is uncomfortable, it is so worth it. I do not want to go through life staying in the exact same place for years, have the same relationship with God, and keep the same thought process, bored and wondering why things never change.
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.”
