Have you ever felt like you knew you were suppose to do something, but everything else was against you? Have you ever felt like this is the time everyone should be supporting you and cheering you on? Have you ever let all of these thoughts sink in and wonder, am I actually suppose to be doing this? Well, I have. In fact, it was the last couple weeks of my life.
Let’s start at the beginning. About one year ago I went on my first international mission trip ( my third mission trip though) to the Dominican Republic. I fell in love. Yes with the people and their genuine love for Jesus and for others, but thats not what got my attention the most.
The trip did have some rocky parts in it, but coming back and getting jolted right back to reality with school the next day I started to realize. This is not where I am suppose to be. I am not suppose to be in Salem, Oregon. I’m not suppose to be just living my life and following Jesus. I AM TO DO MORE!
I know, we all feel this way in due time, but I really believed it. So naturally, I prayed. And prayed. And Prayed. And Prayed. And seeked. And prayed. This cycle went on for about nine months. That is a good chunk of time. Wow. I never really felt anything being laid on my heart or a clear direction from God. I started doubting. I honestly thought, ” Oh maybe this is just a fluke and it was me on the mission trip high or I was overthinking it”.
I let all of my hopes and dreams of doing something more go. At this point I had already gone through the application process for the World Race and submitted it. I was days away from my interview and days away from either saying I will try it and see or no, never mind it was a mistake.
About two or three nights before I had my interview for the World Race I was in my bathroom and a flood of emotions hit me. I had no idea where these were coming from, okay I was hoping it would have something to do with missions and where I was suppose to go. I fell to the floor sobbing, praying, and so confused. The joy had been sucked out of me for the last few weeks and I just didn’t know what to do. Once I calmed down and was able to go to my room. I sat. I sat and listened.
I had been praying for awhile and never really listened for God.
After all of this occurred I found myself saying “God, your will your way”. I also found myself saying if this is my door, let it be. If this is not my door, let it be. I prepared my heart for the worst in the time waiting on my application status.
The call came. I missed it. Dang work. I called back, missed them barely. Dang time change. Finally. I had reached someone who could tell me my application status. The words came out of their mouth “you have been accepted”. Wow. I was not expecting that. I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it. I did make it thought. I was speechless. Needless to say I am so excited and feeling so good to be preparing for this trip and to go and BE the church, BE the hands, and BE the feet.
Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time out of your day! Be blessed!
