One of the most important things I have learned to do is read the word of God. Reason being, that’s how we get to know our Savior. It’s how He teaches and speaks with us through the Holy Spirit. Once I learned that, prayer started to show its importance in my soul. If it weren’t for these facts; I wouldn’t have been lead to the bible for the “how to” in putting my story here so you all could know me.
I was looking for inspiration on writing my story so I turned to the only help I have, the Lord. Don’t get me wrong, I know my story in my mind and heart but putting it on paper and putting it into legible order was an impossible task in itself.
GOOD THING I SERVE A GOD THAT WORKS WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE!!
While I was praying and asking God to help, He led me to Luke 15: 11-24.
11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
The second I read it, it was like I could see parts of my life in between the lines. I started out in the beginning of my existence with my Heavenly father. I had basically grown up in the church, but I never really took God seriously. For example, I knew who God was, but I didn’t believe who God was. So out of arrogance, instead of living as God planned, I spent 7 years of my life squandering my inheritance with drugs, alcohol and immoral living. I had such a hunger and thirst for sustenance, but sadly, had lowered myself to eating with the pigs. Once I hit rock bottom, I can remember feeling that there was no hope. I asked myself, “Who am I that the Lord would even care? After all I had done to God there was no way He could forgive and save me.” Repentance broke my heart, bringing me to my knees, and I asked God to forgive me even when I thought there was no hope. At that moment, I began to cry and felt a peace, wholeness, and a happiness I had never felt. As I look back I can only see my savior. Even after knowing my sin, He saw me and had compassion for me. I see the gift that He has given me as a renewed promise in life. The Lord had kissed me, clothed me with his best robes, and killed the fattened calf for me. For I was dead, and am alive again; I was lost and now I am found. Ever since then I have not ceased to celebrate for the eternal grace and mercy I had been shown. I hit the ground running and have never looked back, as they say!
You see, God had me walking through life asking some pretty meaningful questions. I asked myself and others “Why am I alone?” Why is it that no matter what I do I fail and feel pain?” Unfortunately, I was expecting answers from all the wrong places. I know my family and friends tried to help me, but I just couldn’t hear what they had to say. Life would have been so much easier if I would have just listened! Anyway, looking back now, I realize that I’m glad “listen” wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I needed to make all of the mistakes. If I wouldn’t have, then the man I am wouldn’t be the man God created me to be. Each and every experience I went through molded me and worked me into the disciple that God intended. I thank God every day for the direction he had taken me. First of all because the decisions I make now are God-inspired. Secondly, with God’s help I will try not make the same mistakes again. The upside to pain is the lessons learned from it all. Most importantly I was now asking God the important questions (the only one with the answers).
Through repentance I found forgiveness, through forgiveness I received Jesus into my life.
MY GOD HAD SAVED MY HOPELESS LIFE. I WAS BORN AGAIN!!!!!
Now, I build faith by continuing a strong personal relationship with the Lord through prayer. As it says in 2 Peter 1:5-7:
5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.
I believe that God gives is everything. I also strongly believe that we need to make every effort for what has been given. That’s why I applied to the World Race! I wanted to make every effort to supplement my walk with sacrifice and obedience. I felt the call to mission work when I was studying a bible study. I have an all-men bible study every Friday morning at the local diner. Fortunately, I kept reading difficult and faith shaking scriptures. At the time we happened to be reading through Luke; which months earlier the Lord had instructed me to request for our next project. I began to come across scripture like Luke 9:23-27:
23 And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. 25 For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? 26 For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. 27 But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.”
I read that and couldn’t help but ask myself what that meant to me. As a Christian, how am I even coming close to this? I prayed and prayed that God would give me guidance in this. Soon after He showed me Luke 9:57:
57 As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Not much longer after that, He also instilled in my heart Luke 12:32- 34:
32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I was scared but at the same time excited that my life’s purpose began to become clearer! I need to lose my life in order to find it. God then went on to tell me to sacrifice all I had for the kingdom. At first I was resistant and defiant, but I have learned that He is always right.
It’s not about what I want. Plus God showed me Matthew 5:29-30:
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Call it what you want, but I proceeded to give up everything that I used to put before God. I gave away my flat screen and Xbox, which was hard because I played it professionally before God wanted me to give it up!
Plus, I decimated social media from my life. Once I did as God instructed me, He went to work on my heart and soul in a way I never thought I’d experience. I was and am at a place of surreal peace and happiness. I am unstoppable! I knew for SURE God wanted me in missions. I stepped out in faith and applied to World Race, and it graciously accepted me (hands down 2nd best news ever received).
I praise my Lord God for placing me exactly where I am for missions of the Gospel. The world might see me as a worthless 22-year-old college dropout living in my grandma’s basement, working at a dead-end job. To the world I had nothing, I was nothing, but to God I am exactly what He wanted.
I AM A TREASURE IN GODS EYES
Finally, I have faith that God WILL continue to open doors before me. I will make every effort to go and do what God calls me to do. I will strive to emulate the love and sacrifice that God showed me when His Son carried His cross for me.
