I’m unable to fully explain the joy I’ve experienced the past two weeks here in Cambodia. Huge smiles on little faces, a group of men who truly care and challenge each other to grow, and meeting followers from all walks of life have characterized the start to this amazing month.
I want to share a short story about how I was reminded relationships are more important than completing tasks, and it comes in the form of a 6 year-old girl who we’ll call Mary*.
It was an ordinary day of teaching here in Cambodia: hot and dusty in the heart of the dry season. Our morning classes went smooth enough as we taught the kids how to pronounce words starting with “J” which is harder than one would think. Even though English makes little cents (or is it sense?) we were able to complete the lesson. Lunch break passes by and the afternoon group rolls in playing soccer in the dusty field. The morning class tends to have a bit more energy than the afternoon one, and that especially showed on this day.
Our small class of eight year-olds swooped into the class ready to learn, and learn they did. One little girl in particular found herself up front with little desire to learn on this day.
Mary is a six year-old who is very advanced for her age and keeping up with the older kids academically. Socially, I believe she wrestles a little bit. Her best friends are in the Pre-K class learning basic shapes and words while she’s busy tackling complex syllables and functions of the body. On this day she had her head down, refusing to participate. Unwilling to work, we continued teaching hoping that she’d glean some information from the lessons. Unfortunately this was the second day of this behavior and we started to notice she was falling back, then I noticed something that broke my heart for this girl.
Mary started to silently cry, and a tiny tear streaked down her cheek. I could tell she felt out of place and was struggling to understand the concepts being taught. I also felt that she might be afraid of me since I’m a stranger who suddently started teaching her and asking her to complete tasks. The bell rang: time for recess. “I’ve got to do something”, I thought, “But what?” I’m hardly able to communicate with a six year-old who speaks fluent English, let alone one who’s just learning it. Then the Lord hit me and said, “Go play with Mary.” I looked across the small field and saw her sitting alone on the swingset eating her snack. I hesitantly walked over there with some of the teachers watching me. I sat down in the dirt in front of her. “Welp, here goes something,” I thought.
I looked up at Mary and smiled, and she smiled back, slightly confused. I rose my hand up for a high five and she gave it all she had to smack my palm. We began playing a game where the rules were not spoken, yet fully understood by both of us. She would try to high five me, and if she hit my hand, she won, but if she missed, then I won. We played with a few variations, but it was the first time I’d heard her adorable laugh out loud. She lit up, and over the course of fifteen minutes, we became friends. The bell rang and we headed in for the last hour of class. She was completely different the second session. She was answering our questions, playing in the games, and smiling with every correct answer. Since that day, she’s truly been a part of the class and a joy to teach.
I know this sounds obvious, but I found out that day it’s more important to pursue relationships than to always complete your objectives. Looking back at the first few months, I can see how I let ministry and my freetime take priority over building solid and lasting relationships. Yes, experiences are all good and well, but those experiences are enhanced greatly by the people we do them with. Solid friendships are hard to come by, and I’ve missed many opportunities over the years to pour into others. I’m immensely thankful the Lord has opened my eyes to these simple truths through my new friend Mary. I’m excited to focus on building solid friendships and to stop being fearful of trusting others deeply.
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