Quick Intro/ side note!
First and for most, I must apologize for not blogging in so long. I love to write, and love to share stories with you all. I must be honest and say I entered into a season of writers block….which sucked! I must have had 10 blogs in the works at once. I just couldn’t express things well….so with that being said, that season is over and a new one begins!
With only having 35 days left on the Race, I’m going to be very intentional with blogging / updating and reveling all the wondrous thoughts that have been soaking in my brain, along with cool stories and experiences! Thank you guys for being with me on this journey, for supporting me, encouraging me, being patient with me ??
With all that being said, please keep all hands and feet in the vehicle as you are about to enter into what this blog is really about.
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t believe in Jesus. I grew up not going to church, with parents who were struggling with their own hurts, and I in the mist of it all, remember the loss of love that I felt.
The sting of rejection from family and friends. The interesting thing is, that this created a reaction in me to find the love I knew was there.
And thus began the sweet journey of Jesus woeing me to him, teaching me and showing me the true definition of love.
I was a weird child. With my lion mane of hair, dumbo ears, Michael Jackson loving, 10 year old self got rejected a lot by kids at school. But I loved to love. And loved the concept of love. I kept a picture of Jesus under my pillow, and prayed to him every night. And although I didn’t fully understand, who he was or what he did, I knew he loved me, and loved it when I talked to Him. This created a desire within me, to be friends with all different kinds of people. Especially the “weirdos” and “rejects.” Then I found the theatre kids….and felt right at home. Although strange, theatre kids are extremely accepting of all people, I never felt like I had to be anyone but my self when I was with them…expect when we were acting of course.
Around 15 or 16 years old is when I really started to understand the reality of everything. Of God, who he is and what his about. Of Jesus….his unfailing love and what he did for me. Of the Spirit, who dwells within me. My guide, my counselor, my best friend.
My teenage years were not only rough because of all the weird transitions a girl goes through during that time. Trying to figure out high school and what the poop I wanted to do with my life. But home life was getting closer and closer to rock bottom, and I was feeling more and more alone.
I would spend most nights in my room. Praying, worshipping, crying, reading scripture and asking God to give me a little hope and a little joy. Helping me be light in the darkness of my home. And He did, even more so. He met me right where I was, in the mist of my brokenness. His presence would invade my heart and my mind, leaving me with wanting to know more, wanting to go deeper.
I remember wrestling with God…asking him how I was suppose to honor my parents, how I was suppose to love them when I felt so hurt and angry.
Although that time was hard…I look back on it and see what a sweet time it was, between Jesus and me. Clinging on to my Savior, as he continued to sustain me, and love me.
When I got into my late teens, early twenties, I started to really dive into church. I got into a routine and liked it. Stability felt nice. I would go to church on Sundays, bible studies on Monday’s. Volunteer for things when the opportunity presented itself, until one day I was in my room and realized how deprived I felt. Now don’t get me wrong, all those things are good. Church, bible study, serving. But I fell under the trap where the more busy I got, getting comfortable and involved in the “Christan lifestyle” that sweet communion with God, where it was just me, Him and his word, stopped. And my actions all came from a place of routine.
And even then….He pursued me.
I came on the Race because the conviction was too strong to deny. I knew this was where God wanted me, and I had no option but to follow.
I think every racer coming on the Race has an expectation that this is going to change them forever and that they’ll come home and be like peter, healing people just by their shadow touching them. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have those thoughts. I have come to realize however, that yes God works in miracles, but he also works it’s the mundane. He works through everyday, ordinary people such as myself.
My first month in India, one of my squad leaders said something to me that shaped my entire Race. “Klancy, you can through this entire Race, and come home at the end of it and be exactly the same.”
It was that moment when I refused for that to be the case. It’s crazy to me….how being on this Christan mission trip, where you have community, ministry, accountability, Christan teaching and counsel, experiencing new people and new cultures monthly….you can still miss Jesus.
The Key is not working hard….it’s abiding. Dwelling in that love. Your desires being changed and your actions coming out of a place of love. Love for God and love for his people. It’s not our deeds that he wants…in the book of Issiah it says our deeds are nothing but filthy rags! He wants communion, he wants you. Because you are enough.
Being on the Race for 10 months now…I can feel how I have gotten use to this radical life style, and how the Race could easily become other routine, another life style. Being surrounded by tons of African children, hearing heartbreaking stories and seeing extreme poverty, has become surprisingly normal. Right before I left, amazing friends of mine wrote letters for me to take on my journey. There is one I visit often, one that reminds me why I did this and why I am here.
“Remember the simplicity of the gospel Klancy. To love God and to love others.”
And although we are all different. With different talents, desires and passions. We all have the same calling.
To love God
Love others
Spread the gospel
And provide for the weak and needy.
“”When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.””
Matthew 25:31-46
