I remember looking at the Christians living shamelessly in front of everyone else, looking ridiculous.
How can they not care about how foolish they look? Their happiness is kind of sickening.
Sometimes I thought, it must be nice… not caring.
Yes, I am fully aware of how I must look to non-believers.
I remember the conversations I held with my close friends & how we made fun of “church goers”. Are they crazy? How are they not bored? What a boring lifestyle. No fun at all.
I grew up in a family who followed Jesus & remembering how my parents used to fight “spiritual battles” made me absolutely crack up laughing. That is some seriously wild stuff.
I went from that place of complete unbelief to having complete faith & not having to understand everything.
When I was a new believer, I felt like I had to give Him my entire life.
I gave Him everything I thought was normal, everything I thought was right, I gave Him all control to take over my life when I said I would follow Jesus again.
I said, Here’s my life Lord, just have it.
In that moment I knew I was possibly giving Him my friends, my job, my partying, what I thought was having fun, relationships… everything I knew & enjoyed. And that was a fair deal, He was worth it all.
Did I think I would have to keep giving Him my life over & over? No. I thought once was enough, but instead He continues to call me to that place to hand it all over again.
To a place where my identity is 100% in Him, and in nothing else.
I think its natural for us to think we are who we are because of our parents, our friends, our job, our title, our finances, where we live, what we eat! All of our choices & what we fill our lives with makes us who we are. We are the product of our environment… and all of our identity can quickly be summed up on that?
Can I ask you then, will an abused child always be an abused child because of the environment they grew up in? Will they forever see themselves as that defenseless, unloved, unworthy child. Maybe they will… or maybe they will start building the layers of their new identity by getting a loving husband, a really good job, a personality that everyone loves. Maybe that’s who they are now… no longer an abused child but the wife of a loving husband, a professional in their career, and a dearly loved friend. And that’s them.
But what happens if their husband dies, they lose their job & their friends decide they don’t like them anymore?
Who are they now?
I guess thats what Jesus meant when He said “Build your house on solid rock”.
So MAYBE, they will believe what the Bible says about them, what our Father in heaven says. That they are deeply loved & cherished, that they were intricately made in their mothers womb with intention, that they aren’t a mistake & they are enough just the way they are, the daughter or son of the Most High. That their identity is in Him alone. The Ancient of days, Yahweh.
No, I was not abused as a child, that was an example of many people I have met who were.
So, what do you put your self-worth & value in?
Before coming on this adventure unfortunately yet again, I started to build layers of my own identity without Him.
I was content with kind of sitting back & letting the “really Christian- Christians” do all of the weird stuff. I could believe in Jesus but not be embarrassing about it.
But that’s because I hadn’t fully given Him all of my identity, I was trying to be Kirsty, the chill Christian. One that was acceptable to all people. I didn’t want to upset anyone. But now I realized that is what being “religious” is. That’s kind of what the Pharisees were in the Bible & what Jesus fought against. OHMYGOODNESS, am I a modern day Pharisee? God is not content with only some of our heart, He wants it all. He doesn’t call us to look good in front of the people, He asks us to…
“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give”
Wow.
He asked me to go on the World Race, and it felt like I had to give up my whole life for Him again. What I thought was originally my idea turned into His, and I didn’t want to go anymore. But I said, yet again… ahhhhg fine, have my life.
I sing the songs “take me deeper” “here’s my life” and then He takes me up on it…
A question I asked my friend the other day was.. “Is this politically correct?” She replied… “Jesus was not politically correct”
TRUEEEE.
He does not call us to be popular, He was not popular.
He does not say we won’t be criticised, because He definitely was.
They were even angry for when & where He healed people.
He asks us to become more & more like Him… which means… we are setting ourselves up for the same treatment He recieved.
Everything the world does to us, was done to Him.
Luckily in western culture we are not killed for our beliefs, but in a lot of other countries, they are.
Believer’s in those countries absolutely amaze me. They know, that He is worth it.
It is so hard, and really hurts when some of your best friends that you’ve known for years, out of everyone, are the ones who challenge & criticize. It hurts. But hey, Jesus was not accepted in His own home town… ouch.
But you can understand, you know exactly how crazy you may look & you can’t blame them. You used to feel that way too!
I thought I could go on the World Race & help a bunch of people. That sounds nice… That’s not too offending. I can help paint schools, teach English, give lots of love to cute little African babies. That’s acceptable to most of the world. But when you step out & do what God asks you to do to bring glory to Him, its not always as “nice sounding” or looking… to the worlds standards.
And so again, He asks me for my life. And again, I give it all to Him.
He reminds me of Matthew 5:11
“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers.”
And 1 Peter 3:13-15
“Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats, do not be frightened. But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
Other verses when facing oppression or feeling discouraged:
1 John 2:17
Deuteronomy 31:8
Joshua 1:9
Isaiah 41:10-13
Hebrews 13:5-6
Matthew 28:20
Romans 8:28
Galatians 2:20
1 Peter 2:9
There are soooo many verses of encouragement when facing these sorts of trials. Trials that stab at your identity. But God knew we would face many trials in this life, especially as His followers.
I have realised that going deeper is hard, that having my identity in Him can be hard, and that He will continually ask me for my life. And every time, I will give it to Him, no matter how hard.
