Last year, I lived with some friends in a duplex. On the other side lived some other friends who were fellow missionaries at the Wabash Valley International House of Prayer. The summer internship there had just started (the same one I did the summer before), and Joshua was one of the interns. He moved into the other side of the duplex, which we call the Dupe. One evening, I heard music coming from outside on the porch. One of my most favorite activities is porch worship, so I had to join them! After we worshiped for a bit, some people went inside. This cute, fuzzy headed musician with an extensive knowledge of Tuvan throat singing stayed outside with my friend and me. A few weeks later, he let me know that he was interested, but we both knew the no-dating rule that came with the internship. We officially started dating the night of his graduation on August 5, 2013. He has become my absolute best friend.
I suppose it makes sense that one of the first questions people ask me when I tell them about the World Race is, “Is Josh going with you?” That honestly was one of the the major factors in whether I was going to go on this trip or not. How could I live 11 months apart from someone I didn’t like to be away from for more than a day, especially when my dream of starting a family seemed to become closer to reality?
A few days before I submitted my application, I heard a sermon about letting go of your dreams. That is so far from what American culture teaches. I couldn’t count now many time I’ve read, “follow your dreams.” Here I was, being asked to let go of my dreams, ambitions, and expectations. The sermon really put it into perspective. It was my will vs Gods will; Joshua vs Jesus. I’m not saying The Lord doesn’t desire success and pleasure for us on a earth, but if you have an opportunity to prove yourself faithful and patient before Him, you do it. I want to boldly proclaim that nothing comes before my Jesus. I needed to be willing to give up my hope for a future with Joshua if The Lord asked me to, and I needed to give God complete control.
As I have dedicated myself to this trip, I have to practically know how to handle being away from my boyfriend for so long. I first had (have) to remind myself that God will is infinitely more perfect than mine. If The Lord really designed us to be together, then it will work out. I’ve been told there will be Skype opportunities and things like that. Also, 11 months, while a good amount of time, is not forever. I will return. Defeating my urge to worry about this situation, response to the inevitable question is consistently, “If it is a God thing, it cannot be a bad thing.” I believe that I will most definitely grow and mature while on this trip. I also believe that continuing his part with wvihop he will also mature and grow. He is even thinking about going on a short mission trip to Haiti with the other hop missionaries.
This may or may not be not big deal to a lot of people, but it is a true sacrifice for me. But above all, I am excited to go on this trip. I am excited to grow and mature with The Lord, to make new friends, and watch, from a distance, Joshua grow at home. I do have confidence that Joshua and I will make it through the 11 months, but if The Lord leads us differently, than I will still declare his goodness!
