This is my first water color…
Truth is, I HATED IT.
Throwing water on top of colors with absolutely no structure or lines to color in? I mean seriously, you would have thought you were asking me to commit a crime.
That’s what it felt like.
The way the colors bled into each other made me cringe. I had no control when it wanted to drip or run.
The singled out paint strokes felt so alienated and displaced but I didn’t know how to fix it.
When I was finished I was so unsatisfied by my artwork that looked like a 5 year old created, but I was SO satisfied in the freedom I felt. It was so ugly, yet so intriguing.
But for me, this was actually the Lord asking me to surrender control. Not all things were meant for order. Not everything has a perfect color by number box.
Not everything that comes at you in life has a box you can place it in.
But there’s so much beauty in the chaos.
Those singled out paint strokes are now actually my favorite piece of this painting.
The colors bleeding together look like they were always supposed to be that way.
Isn’t that ironic? What I originally wanted — order, lines, boundaries, instruction and everything that a singled out paint strokes entails I hated during the process. And all of the colors merging KILLED me and frustrated me while it was happening but came together, created new colors and happenings and is now my favorite attribute.
Life’s not always about perfect boxes, nor is it all about the abstract but when you pull them together there’s something super beautiful to be experienced. And there’s room for both! You just have to create space for them.
And in doing so the Lord invited me into a new creative side of him that we get to enjoy together. Below is a picture of a night in Colorado with my original squad over July 4th I recreated. Watercolors is now a way I connect my memories to the moments I felt the Lord’s presence or love or just let him speak through colors and art.
It’s a new hobby, and I definitely still paint like a 5 year old but I’m lovin’ the journey.
