There’s been a few times where I’ve been talking to God, and I’ll hear Him call me kiddo. What a strange concept. God Almighty speaks to me with love, as His child. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t understand it. I’m realizing more and more how I’ve struggled to see God as my Father because of doubt.
During the past 3 months, I was in what we World Racers like to call the ‘B Zone’. That’s when you have missed expectations or homesickness, when the excitement wears off and being on the Race becomes just normal life. It launches you into apathy, sadness, loss of motivation, etc. But this week I had a breakthrough.
I spilled everything: my emotions and thoughts, to my team. I felt so much peace and love from them. They surrounded me, hugged me, prayed hard for me, and declared freedom over me. My beautiful teammate Gracie, reached over to me and poured God’s heart out to me. I realized through that, that I have a broken view of God. I don’t see God for who He really is because of experiences and internal ideas I’ve accumulated. She encouraged me to ask Him how I see Him, and then ask Him who He really is.
Then yesterday happened. I shared that I was struggling again in the same ways as before. One of my other amazing teammates shared a picture she got while I’d been talking.
I was trying to put myself on the cross. Jesus ran to me, telling me to stop. He took me and brought me to this bright shining light, God, and left me with Him, while he went back to the cross and put himself on it.
That got me good. Then that night, we spent time together as a squad, and at the end, anyone who wanted to stayed and worshipped. I was sitting behind one of the couches and one of my squad mates came and said God had been putting me on her heart, and asked if she could pray for me. As she was praying she said something along the lines of, ‘God is giving you a new name’, and God spoke the word daughter into my thoughts. I started crying. That’s one of the ways I can tell that the Spirit is present: when I’m moved to tears.
And something SUPER COOL is that one of my team mate’s moms wrote all of my team mates notes. We each got a word for the second half of the race that she’d prayed for. Mine said princess, and then in parenthesis, His daughter. Wow. God things are the best things.
God is showing me that He is my Father. I am His daughter, His princess, His kiddo, His beloved. He is beginning to rework my broken view of Him to see who He really His. Thank you Father!<3
