I wrote this earlier this week:
Yesterday was amazing. I’m the afternoon, myself and some of my squad mates were playing volleyball in the “jungle” that’s right in front of our house. As we played, the sky grew darker and darker, and it suddenly started pouring. We attempted to continue playing, but it was coming down so hard that it was difficult to see. So, we had a dance party instead. One of the things I had wanted to do in Cambodia was to dance in a true Cambodian rainstorm. I got so much more than I hoped for! When the lightning started striking closer to us, we realized it was imperative to get to the house. We stood under cover watching the rain fall and seeing the lightning explode in the sky. It was beautiful, but I didn’t enjoy a second of it. At the church service I went to this week, the pastor said, “Wherever our eyes are gazing, our heart is focused.”
It was the most extravagant storm I have ever seen, yet my thoughts and my heart were gazing in the complete opposite direction.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Satan’s favorite way to attack me is to aim for my identity. That is where I’m quickest to question and doubt. When living with 55 other people, it’s all too easy to compare your abilities, personalities , and appearance to those around you. I am quick to jump to conclusions about what people must think of me. And when this happens, all my defenses fall to the ground. I realized, after missing all the beauty that the day held, that the way to protect myself from Satan’s attacks is to fill myself with the truth. The last Sunday at my home church before leaving to the Race, two different people mentioned to me the importance of knowing the truth. I need to remember who God is and who He says I am.
Now, as I sit in front of the deep blue shutters of my afternoon ministry site, watching the rain fall and the lightning brighten the sky, I am so grateful that Jesus washes us clean. That we can be refreshed and cleansed, no matter what our yesterday looked like. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Today’s a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
